11.22.06

Sales Training’s Over, Time to Get Back Into Shape

Posted in Fitness at 8:16 pm

The 6 weeks of engineering sales training are over! My final presentation was quite a success and I’m excited to get out to LA!

Unfortunately, since the start of this glorious football season, I’ve exercised about 5 times, and am now in some of the worst shape of my life. I’m still just under 200lbs, but I’ve simply turned all of my muscle into fat.

I feel like garbage and it’s time to turn this around. So here’s the goals:

1. Weight lift 3x a week
   
2. Cardio 3x a week (running or swimming)
   
3. 185g protein per day, preferably 200.

To keep track of my diet, I will be using FitDay, which totals your foods’ calorie/fat/protein content.

Additionally, I’m keeping track of my goals using a site called Traineo, which lets you add people who help motivate you (I need to get some motivators). Click the link below to see my profile:

I put in 205 as my goal weight, but don’t care much about weight.

I am now also sporting a minor caffeine addiction. Fun headaches!

In other news, I’m coming home to Cleveland for Thanksgiving and am very excited to get back.

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11.19.06

DESTROYAL!!

Posted in Sports at 10:36 am

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11.16.06

Forgive Me Buckeyes, For I Have Sinned

Posted in HUMILIATIONS, Sports at 12:29 pm

… or more realistically, my parents have sinned.

A few weeks ago, my mom was rummaging through some old stuff, where she happened upon an article from the News Herald. It was an article about volunteering, with my picture alongside childhood best friend Jason Chamlee and Andy Swentik.

And there it is. Fifth grader Mike Roberto, wearing a goddamned MICHIGAN shirt!

I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw this! How could I wear such filth? How could my parents allow me to leave the house with that? How was that allowed in our home? What a tasteless obscenity!

So for this Michigan week, I’d like to apologize to my Buckeye brethren out there. Please forgive me.

The unveiling of this skeleton in my closet has been a serious blow to my self-worth, but I hope I can overcome it with a sizable victory over that school up north this weekend, and a trip to the National Championship game!

Miserably humiliated,
berto

OHIO STATE: 34
MICHIGAN: 21

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11.14.06

Weekend Review: Newquist Farm Party and Chicago

Posted in HUMILIATIONS, Travels at 12:59 pm

This past weekend I traveled to Chicago to visit all of my friends from school and go to the Ohio State vs. Northwestern game. After all flights into O’Hare were canceled due to wind and storms, I was sent home until my flight at 6am Saturday.

Life gave me lemons, so I made lemonade and went to Jason Newquist’s final farm party before he departs for his trip around the world. A great time was had by all, Brian Platt and I won some beer pong, and I got to wish farewell to my buddy Nuke. A future blog post will be created for him.

I made it home at 2am, and was up and flying and in Chicago before 10am. Jeremy, Mark, Brooke, and I all headed to Mickey’s and boarded one of their school bus shuttles to the tailgate.

After the bus driver got us completely lost in Evanston, all of the beer and energy drinks I consumed caught up with me and I could no longer hold myself. I had to seriously urinate worse than I’ve ever felt in my life.

I had two choices: get off of the bus and find way to the game, or do the unthinkable.

Those of you that know me best know exactly what I did — I huddled up in the corner of my seat, took a 24 oz cup out, and pissed in it while 40 guys and girls all watched and mocked me.

Not only did I go in that rather large cup… I completely filled it up! I had to cut off my stream and safely dump the contents out the window in an approved area. I still had to finish, but after all of the cheers from the guys and ‘ewwws’ from the gals, I decided to hold off on the rest until we made it to the tailgate.

The tailgate party was fun, plenty of booze, music, and drinking games. I’ll hopefully get some pictures up.

The game was a blowout, but our seats were horrible. We were with Kirby and his girlfriend Morgan, Gingo and his fiance Lindsay, Jon, Juan, Lauren, Matt, and the rest of their crew. Jeremy and I left a bit early and headed back to the tailgate, where we drank some more, danced, and eventually left.

We returned to Mickey’s for more beer and had dinner, and finally got a cab back to Jer’s place. We started watching the Texas vs. K-State game (wow), and Jeremy, Mark, and I all passed out at 10:30pm. We woke up at the convenient time of 2:30am, hangover already in progress, and our night was done for. How humiliating!

Nothing too insane happened, but it’s always a great time up in the frozen city of Chicago.

This weekend’s Shameless Award goes to Wags.

And for those of you who asked how I cut off the stream with no pain: I have very capable muscles :)

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11.06.06

Book Review: The Broker, by John Grisham

Posted in Book Reviews at 11:31 pm

Prior to this story, Joel Backman was a high rolling lawyer until he tried to broker a deal to sell software to the world’s most powerful satellite surveillance system. He got caught and put in prison and the software was hidden. However, the U.S. government wants his death or that information. After six years in solitary, the CIA director gets the lame duck President to pardon Backman, making him available with a nice target on his chest.

So this book is written by Grisham. This means that it’s a good story, well-told, and will keep your attention (for the most part). However, I can’t believe that this is one of Grisham’s better writings.

First, the plot is a bit too far-fetched. But it’s passable because it’s about a smart, sleazy lawyer who can figure anything out and the US government who is capable of anything.

Second, the book is predictable. I’m sure the Grisham fans knew every single twist and turn, because I could guess the majority of them and this is only my second book of his.

Third, a weak love subplot was awkwardly inserted into the story, as if Grisham was forced into doing it. Expect no details from it.

And fourth, the ending leaves much to be desired, a bit too open-ended, and generally flat.

However, it’s still a good story, so if you are ridiculously bored and have nothing better to read on an airplane, go grab this one. Not every book can be ridiculous like A Confederacy of Dunces, and it’s a decent, easy read.

I’d like to thank Coleman for this book. When I got home from my trip to Columbus, I promptly ordered him A Confederacy of Dunces off of half.com

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