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]]> By: Mike Roberto’s Blog » Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Champion http://www.mikeroberto.com/2007/02/08/new-years-resolutions-the-gyms-been-awfully-empty-win-free-chocolate/comment-page-1/#comment-231 Mike Roberto’s Blog » Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Champion Thu, 15 Feb 2007 11:18:37 +0000 http://www.mikeroberto.com/2007/02/08/new-years-resolutions-the-gyms-been-awfully-empty-win-free-chocolate/#comment-231 [...] it or not, in the past week, mikeroberto.com has amassed nearly 500 hits since posting this earlier blog entry! Typically, you will get one comment for every 100 page views. It’s one of the extensions of [...] [...] it or not, in the past week, mikeroberto.com has amassed nearly 500 hits since posting this earlier blog entry! Typically, you will get one comment for every 100 page views. It’s one of the extensions of [...]

]]> By: Jordan http://www.mikeroberto.com/2007/02/08/new-years-resolutions-the-gyms-been-awfully-empty-win-free-chocolate/comment-page-1/#comment-216 Jordan Tue, 13 Feb 2007 20:23:09 +0000 http://www.mikeroberto.com/2007/02/08/new-years-resolutions-the-gyms-been-awfully-empty-win-free-chocolate/#comment-216 Will I win this contest by default? How very lame. .guess I'm the only scumbag who hasn't kept his resolution. Will I win this contest by default? How very lame. .guess I’m the only scumbag who hasn’t kept his resolution.

]]> By: Jordan http://www.mikeroberto.com/2007/02/08/new-years-resolutions-the-gyms-been-awfully-empty-win-free-chocolate/comment-page-1/#comment-190 Jordan Fri, 09 Feb 2007 07:44:05 +0000 http://www.mikeroberto.com/2007/02/08/new-years-resolutions-the-gyms-been-awfully-empty-win-free-chocolate/#comment-190 Broken resolution: "To remain jobless and collect unemployment until the government well runs dry." Southern California is THE best place to suck the government's teat. In LA-a metropolis of artists/tourists-there's no shame in spending the entire day dicking around under sunny skies. My innate midwestern nose-to-the-grindstone induced guilt quickly acquiesced to a beach towel and a semi-monthly government stipend for enjoying myself. My unemployment wasn't the consequence of incompetence, but rather the result of a decision to work in entertainment--a dynamic industry that offers ZERO job security. The mantra during 5+ months of no job: Don't Panic! I knew that I could always fall back on my prestigious English degree from the Ohio State University-Columbus (the Harvard of OSU campuses--contrary to what those dopes in Mansfield claim). And fall back I did. As an executive assistant to the Vice-President of Ad Sales for Comcast Network Sales (the OSU Mansfield of assistant positions). The government well didn't run dry. But colder temperatures and cloudy skies in winter La-La land have pushed me back into an office. I plan to be gainfully employed until July, just in time for beach weather. Resolution, broken. Peanut M&Ms are good, but Almond M&M's are the best! Resolutions that are still alive: entering contests, disseminating my junk mail in the back seats of friends' cars, flirting only w/girls that are in my financial league, finding girls that are in my financial league, masturbating only to girls that are in my financial league but turned me down, learning to masturbate w/my less dominant hand (right), learning to use the mouse w/my less dominant mouse hand (left), removing all emotional attachment/investment from the most pathetic and rudderless professional sports franchise (Cleveland Browns), increasing all emotional attachment/investment for my alma-mater's team-fully conscious that even they will break my heart (OSU football/basketball), ending stuff Broken resolution: “To remain jobless and collect unemployment until the government well runs dry.”

Southern California is THE best place to suck the government’s teat. In LA-a metropolis of artists/tourists-there’s no shame in spending the entire day dicking around under sunny skies. My innate midwestern nose-to-the-grindstone induced guilt quickly acquiesced to a beach towel and a semi-monthly government stipend for enjoying myself.

My unemployment wasn’t the consequence of incompetence, but rather the result of a decision to work in entertainment–a dynamic industry that offers ZERO job security.

The mantra during 5+ months of no job: Don’t Panic! I knew that I could always fall back on my prestigious English degree from the Ohio State University-Columbus (the Harvard of OSU campuses–contrary to what those dopes in Mansfield claim).

And fall back I did. As an executive assistant to the Vice-President of Ad Sales for Comcast Network Sales (the OSU Mansfield of assistant positions).

The government well didn’t run dry. But colder temperatures and cloudy skies in winter La-La land have pushed me back into an office. I plan to be gainfully employed until July, just in time for beach weather.

Resolution, broken.

Peanut M&Ms are good, but Almond M&M’s are the best!

Resolutions that are still alive: entering contests, disseminating my junk mail in the back seats of friends’ cars, flirting only w/girls that are in my financial league, finding girls that are in my financial league, masturbating only to girls that are in my financial league but turned me down, learning to masturbate w/my less dominant hand (right), learning to use the mouse w/my less dominant mouse hand (left), removing all emotional attachment/investment from the most pathetic and rudderless professional sports franchise (Cleveland Browns), increasing all emotional attachment/investment for my alma-mater’s team-fully conscious that even they will break my heart (OSU football/basketball), ending stuff

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