02.15.07
Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Champion
Believe it or not, in the past week, mikeroberto.com has amassed nearly 500 hits since posting this earlier blog entry! Typically, you will get one comment for every 100 page views. It’s one of the extensions of the Pareto Principle that I’ve discussed in earlier blog entries…
But things change when a brilliant-yet-wasted mind comes and scares the competition away. My friend Jordan (from high school, NOT the one from Austin mentioned in earlier blog entries) set the bar far too high in ways of demolishing his New Years Resolution.
His resolution of staying unemployed all year long has been shattered by the horrible act of actually getting a job. Imagine that, a guy in Southern California who has a legit job. I’m blown away. I thought I was the only one out here that wasn’t a total bum. But I digress…
Multiple e-mails were sent to me requesting second prizes, but I denied them on the grounds of stubborn principle. It is of our opinion here at www.mikeroberto.com that competition breeds only winners and losers.
Thus, high-school-Jordan will be awarded with two bags of M&M’s. He has stated that he loves almond M&Ms, but those are NOT available in official sizes as specified in earlier blog entries.
So congratulations high-school-Jordan.
It has also been brought to our attention that mikeroberto.com is supposed to be a family-oriented blog, and that Jordan’s antics were not appreciated by all members of the surrounding community. While the kind staff here at www.mikeroberto.com were unaware of these stipulations, we have agreed that it would be within the best interests of the community to produce some new entries that eliminate Jordan’s antics from the front page as soon as possible.
The offices of mikeroberto.com have begun scurrying in a mad dash to produce more quality content in a rushed amount of time, and a collective groan has also been voiced by the employees. However, due to these managerial pressures, morale is now at an all-time low, and the blog will most likely continue to churn out rather low-quality rants at the usual lethargic race.
Jordan said,
02.15.07 at 12:51 pm
Mike,
I take great pride in driving your blog’s hit-count to 500 while simultaneously sending staff’s morale into a downward spiral. I’m a writer for hire if you’d like to enlist my services full-time (until July of course).
But, under what internet rock are these meek prize-begging also-rans hiding? I didn’t see any other entries except mine. I bore my soul for a bag of M&Ms people!
I take umbrage w/the slanderous “brilliant-yet-wasted mind”. Sure, my mind is wasted, but by no means brilliant. I’ve already contacted my attorney, who suggested that his retainer fee could be paid w/M&Ms. Now that is brilliance.
Also, I don’t appreciate being reduced to “high-school Jordan”. Weak, man. This here blog ain’t big enough for two Jordans, if you know what I mean. If you want to find me, I’ll be the guy swimming in the pool of PEANUT BUTTER M&Ms!
My contest winning post only went “blue” near the end to ensure that the lazy-assed staff at mikeroberto.com was paying attention.
Get back to work, suckers!
Jordan said,
02.15.07 at 3:39 pm
PS - I bet 498 of the 500 hits were from me worshipping my post.