05.08.07
Dear San Jose Thieves
Hello, it is Mike Roberto and Billy Lowery - the two gringos you unsuccessfully attempted to steal from yesterday in downtown San Jose, Costa Rica.
It is with great pleasure that I revel in your humiliation, knowing that your day was ruined and that you had to get off the street (if only for a few hours), hurting your pitiful business. You must have felt like complete shit when we caught you opening my bag and trying to steal my camera. The surprised look on your face when Billy pushed your fat ass and launched into a tirade of insults in Spanish was priceless. Your failed attempts not only disgraced yourselves, they disgraced your country.
You are worthless pieces of shit and I can honestly say that I wish nothing but a slow and painful death to you. Be happy that we were smart and didn’t throw your pathetic asses through the store window.
You were outsmarted, outclassed, and out-witted by Billy. His amazing reaction was the last thing you expected, and it showed. He is 1000 times the man you will ever be. I am glad to have friends like Billy who can be trusted, unlike your disgraceful souls.
Please stay out of the U.S., and more importantly, stay the hell out of my bag. You cannot ruin the wonderful trip that I am on.
Rot in hell, and thank you Billy.
Berto
El Gringo said,
05.08.07 at 2:29 pm
PURA VIDA!!!!!!!
Yo Momma said,
05.09.07 at 5:54 pm
Way to go, Billy. Thanks for saving the memories that Berto has on that camera. And Mikey, if you have inherited my abilities to put the maloccia ( Italian curse), on people that use, abuse, and humiliate you, then this guy is in for more than a slow and painful death………..it’ll all start with constipation a week at a time - then slowly progress………… Watch out you pitiful thief….
On a happier note - I’m glad you are having a wonderful time. Can’t wait to hear all about it.
Mike Roberto’s Blog » Costa Rica Bar Review: Bar Tazmania - Santa Cruz and the Bolson Town Bar said,
05.18.07 at 12:33 am
[...] of reasons. First, it was a day in where Billy and I got out of San Jose, Costa Rica, which you can imagine isn’t on my top 10 list of places to raise a family. But more importantly, it was a long travel day which introduced me to some of the coolest dive [...]
Cristel said,
05.31.07 at 12:36 pm
Hey.. Not all Costa Ricans are like that… I’m sorry you had a bad experience…. but do not accuse all for one doing… :)
Mike Roberto’s Blog » Good Luck to Rowler, Trainwreck, and Angela on THE MISSION said,
10.10.07 at 6:53 pm
[...] this year, I had the pleasure of visiting him, a trip that I still talk about which also yielded five different blog posts I [...]