07.25.08

Hammers of Misfortune - The August Engine - Images

Posted in Music Reviews, Technology at 7:11 pm

One of my biggest complaints about the Internet has been the disturbing lack of quality images of the cover of Hammers of Misfortune’s album, The August Engine. The August Engine claw is by far one of my favorite logos, and is probably my favorite t-shirt too.

To see what this eclectic, bizarro metal band is all about, go to the Hammers of Misfortune Myspace Page and listen to the second track, A Room and a Riddle, which is off of the August Engine album.

If this band sounds familiar, it’s because their latest album, The Locust Years, scored #6 on my Top 15 Albums of 2006. I like The August Engine even better.

Hammers of Misfortune will always hold a sweet spot in my heart. During my Ohio State college days, I drove up to Cleveland to meet up with Brian and see them play at the Grog Shop in 2004. To our dismay, only 7 people were in attendance (this type of thing happens when a west coast metal band plays in a punk venue and there is absolutely no promotion). And you know what happened? They played their asses off in what was one of the best concerts I’ve seen to this day. I love this band and can’t wait for the new album.

ANYWAY, I decided to solve this problem today. Right here, right now.

The best bet I had was to take a picture of my t-shirt and clean it up a bit. The pic at the top is a JPG of my shirt after it’s been cleaned up. You can see the white part of the claw is whiter than the words. Go ahead and clean those up if you want.

To the left is a vectorized PNG image of the claw with a nice circle around it. Since it’s vectorized, it’s not based off of a geometric formula and can be stretched to your desire. I also have EPS, SVG, and PDFs of it if you like - just contact me.

Finally, here’s a link to the original unmodified August Engine Claw picture from my t-shirt. And here’s a non-vectorized JPG image with the black circle claw.

Why did I do this? Why spend all that time vectorizing it (vectormagic.com RULES, btw) so that I can stretch it out? That’s a secret for later…

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07.20.08

The Great Unamerican Beer

Posted in Politics, Rants at 10:27 am

This past Friday, I was asked to buy some beer for a party. On my way to the grocery store, I deposited my Stimulus Check, then used some of that to buy a case of Bud Light. A few hours later, I realized that this seemingly normal sequence of events was an ironic microcosm for the economic disaster that this country faces, and I was part of the problem.

Over the past decade, our government has engaged in a series of actions that have resulted in the devaluation of the US Dollar. From
artificially low interest rates to printing up “free money” and distributing it as “stimulus checks”, our dollar has become more and more worthless on the global market. Just like its dim-witted citizenry, this country spends more money than it makes. What makes the government different than its citizens is that the government doesn’t go bankrupt — the money just becomes increasingly useless.

As a result of this, the prices of imported goods (oil, anybody?) have skyrocketed, and our country is quietly being bought out by the Europeans.

That case of Bud Light, which is produced by now European-owned Anheuser-Busch, was direct support for the collapse of the dollar and those who are profiting off of it. Cashing that check devalued the dollar, and the devaluation of the dollar is partially responsible for the sale of AB to InBev. Regardless of which came first, the downward spiral we are traveling upon will be difficult to derail unless we make changes now.

My first change? I’m done buying foreign-owned beer that tries to pass off as “Great American Beer” for my cheap beer selection.

Let’s take a look at the currently popular beer purchases:

• Anheuser-Busch products? Nope, soon-to-be owned by InBev, a bunch of Europeans.
• How about that nice Pete Coors guy and his Coors Light? Oops, Molson owns them up in Canada. Tap the Rockies (and give the profits to Canadians) indeed.
• Well, there’s always that dreaded Miller filthwater, right? Wrong. Owned by SABMiller, which stands for South African Breweries – Miller.

That covers about 90% of what you’ll find on the shelves. Now this is where things get really sad: The largest American-owned beer company is now Pabst. What Pabst doesn’t want you to know is that they don’t even brew beer (and clearly don’t know how) – that’s done by our foreign foes in MillerCoors.

So what American actually brews the damn stuff in America? The Boston Beer Company (Sam Adams).

This means that the next time I’m asked to buy some light beer for a party, here are my choices:

1. Sam Adams Light - At 124 calories, hardly a light beer,
   but I do like it.
2. Yuengling - Great stuff, but I’ve never seen it in California.
3. Iron City Brewing - I.C. Light is probably the closest thing to a “Great American Light” beer you’ll find. Unfortunately, it’s brewed in Pittsburgh, and those of you who know me know that I won’t touch it. My devotion to the Cleveland Browns is above even beer
4. Shiner (Spoetzel Brewery) - I absolutely love this stuff, and will drink it on my upcoming trip to Austin, but I’ve never seen a Shiner Light out here. Shiner Bock will do for now.

At this point, I give up. It’s even worse when I realize that I’d like cans so that I can bring them to the beach. Perhaps it is time I stop buying a “Great American” light beer, and move on to the other delicious brews we have and make my friends deal with it.

The time is ripe for an American to step it up, make the next popular light beer, and distribute/market it like mad. While you’re at it, get the NASCAR crowd up in arms. Pabst could step up to the table, but they need to start brewing their own beer again before I jump onto that bandwagon. Until then, I’m drinking Shiner and Fat Tire.

And as a footnote, how did Friday’s party go? Well, during a wild drinking game, my friend accidentally swallowed a quarter, and couldn’t get it back up. What’s really miserable is that by the time he ‘passes’ it, it will probably be worth about half as much.

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