04.28.07

BREAKING NEWS: Joe Thomas Comes Down With Staph Infection While Fishing

Posted in Sports at 9:30 am

CLEVELAND, OH
On NFL Draft Day 2007, Joe Thomas, the offensive lineman from Wisconsin, decided to go against the glamour of New York City and maintain an annual tradition of fishing in Lake Michigan with his father.

Sources close to the family have reported that at 12:52pm EST, just minutes after the Cleveland Browns selected Thomas with their 3rd overall pick of the NFL Draft, Thomas accidentally baited his leg with a Vulcan Lure and tore his left calf muscle, exposing the bone.

Thomas was immediately rushed to the Cleveland Clinic, where his leg was successfully repaired. After the surgery, Phil Savage, Browns General Manager, signed Thomas to a 6 year, $60 million contract.

However, insiders are now reporting that Thomas has come down with a staph infection, which has mobilized and spread throughout his leg. The massive lineman will miss most of the 2007 season, and rumors are circling that his NFL career is possibly over before it even began.

“It’s a very unfortunate disaster,” claimed Savage. “We are evaluating our options and considering whether we may or may not have a potential issue with possible staph infections at the Clinic.”

This is the 6th staph infection that Browns players have come down with since 2003. Linebacker Ben Taylor, wide receiver Braylon Edwards, safety Brian Russell and tight end Kellen Winslow have all had different strains of staph, a bacteria that causes serious health problems after entering the body through the skin.

Stay tuned to mikeroberto.com for more updates on Thomas’ condition.