This mission is paramount because the Space Shuttle program is being decommissioned and we’re going to have to rely on Russian Soyuz rockets to get astronauts and cargo to the ISS. America needs to act fast, and SpaceX is stepping up to the plate and has recently hit three home runs.

SpaceX's Falcon 9 Takes Off

SpaceX performed this feat with just a FRACTION of the budget and number of failures that other government entities and larger companies have had. They are showing that privatizing works when done right. Put a bunch of geniuses in a room with a solid vision, a fiscal goal to achieve, and an inspirational leader, and this is what you get.

I am very close to many people at SpaceX, as they were one of my primary customers in my old sales job. I am still friends with many of the employees, as they are a great group of guys. I am honest when I tell you that every time I stepped into that building, I was the dumbest person in the room. I can’t say enough good things about them, the missions they’ve accomplished, and how they do so much with so little.

SpaceX is founded by Elon Musk, who was the co-founder of PayPal and also runs Tesla Motors.

What the SpaceX Launch Means to Me… and America

Note: This is the way I see things. I follow space, but not so closely that this is how it all went down

Over the past decade, we have had two American government administrations that have done nothing but balloon the size of the government with basically zero productive results. There has been nothing but bureaucratic waste, failure, and endless “wars”.

Our Space Shuttle program has been ailing, as was evident by the 2003 Columbia disaster. Our shuttles are no longer certifiably safe, and they need to be put to noble rest. So Congress commissioned NASA to create the Constellation program, a new human space transport program. Sounds cool, we can keep up with Russia and China, right?

Wrong.

As many expected, NASA shit the bed with Constellation. They were so covered in shit that they were unable to even provide a reasonable estimation for how much the program would even cost!! Talk about flying blind! (Original 2004 NASA estimates were that it’d cost $230 Billion to get to the moon)

So much win.

So I have to credit President Obama for doing his homework and canceling the program. Instead, he decided that it was time to take a “bold new approach to human space flight that embraces commercial industry”, as Constellation was “over budget, behind schedule, and lacking in innovation.”

So he created the COTS program, designating $6 Billion to fund commercial technology companies to get it done. SpaceX and Orbital Sciences won the bids, with behemoths Lockheed Martin and Boeing left licking their wounds.

What you see in the video above is somewhere south of $600 million worth of investment. That is less than the amount of “cost threats” NASA calculated as being risky endeavors for the Constellation program. While this bloated program was busy making mistakes (yet keepin’ them cushy jobs!), SpaceX got busy flying rockets – and making profit.

I know that it’s not so clear cut, and SpaceX still needed a LOT of NASA help to communicate out there, but let me continue.

Okay… But why should I care about any of this?

Dragon Capsule Comes Home

Good question. This country is on a downward spiral, so why are we worried about sending expensive rockets into space?

The first part of the answer is that if the shit hits the fan, we may need manned missions that we can operate. Even with SpaceX, the US still has a gap where we cannot fly manned missions ourselves after Atlantis is decommissioned. We will have no safe shuttle!!!! SpaceX doesn’t think it can officially bring an astronaut to space for 3 more years, which probably means 4.

Sure, we have companies like Lockheed, Boeing, and SpaceX that can bring your satellite into space. But if we need to do spacewalks to fix things, do we really want to rely on the Russians and Chinese? It’s not a good situation if relations go downhill, which isn’t out of the realm of possibility. I for one don’t completely trust anyone but Americans with my precious cargo and communications systems.

The second part of the answer is this: While NASA is less than 1% of our budget, it’s a microcosm for everything that is going wrong with this country.

You can spend billions upon billions of good peoples’ money by pushing paper around, or you can let a bunch of smart people attack the problem with the incentive of that forsaken word, PROFIT.

So my question back to you is, if a company of 1200 employees can accomplish at a fraction of a price what a huge government organization of 18,000+ people cannot do… where else can this country save money and put power back into the hands of the people?

It’s not rocket science, people. Well, except it is, and privatization STILL worked. Why not try it in places where it’s a bit easier than building space ships?

So congrats once again to SpaceX and all of my friends and past associates.

Yesterday was a great day for America and our founding principles.

Elon is 39, and today I turned 29. I have exactly ten years to be as fucking cool as that guy.

Related posts:

1. On Strike With the Writer’s Guild of America
2. Land of the Free, Right?
3. You Can’t Live the American Dream in Europe

Specifically, I was a guest picketer for the Writers Guild of America (WGA), joining my dear friend Sarah Watson, writer on NBC’s forthcoming primetime show, Lipstick Jungle.

For those of you unaware, the WGA is a union which represents TV, film, and radio writers. The WGA is striking against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP), which is an industry trade group consisting of U.S. film production companies and studios (ie. GE/NBC/Universal, Disney, Time Warner, etc). Every three years, these organizations negotiate a basic contract. However, in 2007, negotiations failed, and a strike began on November 2, 2007.

The way I understand it (heavily dumbed down — explaining it is neither my jurisdiction nor purpose), there are two major sticking points to the WGA’s strike:

1. DVD Residuals
   The writers want 8 cents for every DVD sold, double their current 4 cents. That is 0.4% of the revenue from a $20.00 DVD.
2. “New Media” Residuals
   Writers currently get no money when their work is viewed through Internet downloads, streaming feeds, IPTV, or phone downloads. They want to receive the 2.5% for these (which is what they’re paid on traditional television).

The funniest thing about this strike is what a social event it seems to be for the writers. Everyone I talked to was in optimistic spirits, and was very friendly to Sarah and myself. After all, being out of work for many months at a time is nothing new to a writer. Among those that I met were

• Craig Williams, writer of Underdog (and some really cool upcoming ideas),
• Zach Estrin, Co-executive Producer of Prison Break,
• Brent Fletcher and John Zinman of Friday Night Lights (all of my regular readers know what a sucker I am for this show),
• David Misch and Jeff Reno of Mork & Mindy fame, and
• Rob Bragin, Sarah’s co-worker on Lipstick Jungle.

The Writers are not dumb, nor are the studios. As Internet and TV are quickly merging (take, for instance, AppleTV, Verizon FIOS, and even the growing popularity of streaming protocols such as Sopcast), each side must stand their ground and try to gain as much leverage over new media as soon as possible. This is especially true since the lines between TV and Internet are blurring and all forecasts of new media are vastly underestimated.

As a Libertarian, I find the entire situation to be a slap in the face to our country’s economic system, which resembles more and more of a joke every day. While I’ve never been pro-Union, I find it absolutely ridiculous that 6 of the largest corporations in the world can unite and dominate an industry with basically no competition between each other.

Our supposed ‘free market economy’ is dominated by corporate interests which have contributed to the disappearance of the middle class — a middle class that is vitally important to the survival of any democratic government.

I fully support the writers’ power to unionize and convene, but I also fully support the corporations power to fire their employees and do things their own way. That’s business.

What I cannot support is the fact that there are six companies worth a quarter of a trillion dollars all in bed with each other, negotiating blanket deals. These same corporations who control everything you read and hear, who are doing everything in their power to silence those who are trying to restore order to this country.

Although this strike has very little impact on my life and that of my family, I feel that it is indicative of the bigger picture — the pendulum has swung too far, and the time for mass corporate backlash is near.

My question to you writers is this: What next? Let’s say you get everything (or almost everything) you bargain for. You are still pawns in the system, stuck in a traditional business which does not fully understand the future of technology and no longer appreciates the people it serves.

Isn’t it time for something new? Why settle for this, when you can take a risk to do better — to compete with the system by starting your own production organization. After all, if you’re not willing to take this risk, then you’ve already lost.

Related posts:

1. What the SpaceX Falcon 9 Launch Success Means to America
2. Humiliation: The Latest Craze in Entertainment
3. Land of the Free, Right?

Take, for instance, the mother of all humiliations in the news recently: Miss Teen USA 2007, South Carolina – Caitlin Upton. It’s been viewed over 14 million times, and I still can’t watch the entire thing:

Ten years ago, this girl’s life would have been over. But not anymore, thanks to the Internet. Tell me, how many of you can actually recognize the winner of Miss Teen USA? I know I couldn’t, but if I saw Caitlin on the street, I’d immediately recognize her. Not only that, but she’s now had major follow-up interviews, and I can guarantee you that magazines like FHM will are trying to get her into sexy photo shoots. The landscape has changed indeed.

Next humiliation: Britney Spears’ return to the big stage in MTV’s Video Music Awards (it’s been removed from YouTube).

There are two ways which Britney could have gotten all of the attention she received:

1. She knocks everyone’s socks off (not likely), or
2. She is a trainwreck (very likely).

As expected, Britney bombed in flying colors, yielding more press than a good performance would ever have received. Her constant humiliation has kept her in the spotlight. For someone struggling to keep things alive, no press is bad press.

What hasn’t been removed from YouTube, however, is the defensively embarrassing video “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” from Britney’s #1 fan, Chris Tucker. Nobody heard of this loser until this video was made. Now nearly 5 million people have watched it. In case you haven’t, here it is:

In case you didn’t know, Chris is a male, and is somehow gaining a monstrous fan base. Does anyone see a problem here?

Now let’s take a look at the lighter side of popular-culture humiliation. The Zombie Kid who Likes Turtles:

Ten years ago, 10,000 people in Portland, OR would have seen this on the evening news, said “what in the hell?”, and went to bed, all to forget about it the next day. Now, over a million people have seen Jonathon Ware — he gets recognized everywhere, t-shirts have been made with the “I Like Turtles” slogan, and there is a Washington Post Article summing up the whole experience.

For my last exhibit, my favorite humiliation of all, is “Flaming Shot Goes Terribly Wrong”:

I’ve seen this video over 50 times (more on that in the future), and laugh every time I see it. These guys are true heroes to our generation of idiots, including myself. “Flaaaaaaaaming!”

What’s the point?

My point is this. The Internet is moving towards a self-aggrandizing style of short-lived entertainment fueled by Generation Y-ers’ passion to put themselves in the spotlight at any cost. America has loved humiliation for several years, starting with the television show “COPS” and MTV’s “The Real World”, and then moving towards reality TV and shows like “Jackass”.

Your typical 30+ year old would never want to be shown on the Internet partaking in such self defeatism. They wisely cower at the sight of video cameras, and don’t want to be the center of this Internet-based attention.

Generation Y, however, is embracing that humiliation, and taking it to levels I never imagined. We are, as a young society, increasingly becoming attention-whores.

The rest of us just revel in everyone else’s humiliations because it makes us feel better about our worthless, emotionally-neglected selves, thanks to the lack of proper parenting because we decided to toss a generation of children in extended day care rather than raise them like normal humans just so that everyone could afford a 3,000 square foot house and country club membership.

Related posts:

1. HUMILIATION
2. I Will No Longer Press 1 To Speak English
3. What the SpaceX Falcon 9 Launch Success Means to America

However, more than politics, I am a fan of chaos and disorder. It is actually inscribed on my personal emblem, shown to the side. Just imagine the chaos that would ensue if this woman ran for President. This country would be turned absolutely upside down, and that would be a riot to watch. Blogs would be bursting with fantastically incredulous write-ups. Political debates would actually feature some (but not much more than the John Kerry era) estrogen. Rednecks and businessmen alike would be up in arms. And Fox News would nearly implode.

And while I continue to support Texas Congressman Ron Paul for President, I would sit on the sidelines saying, “This is good for our country. We needed to get our rotten eggs scrambled up a little bit”.

And those rotten eggs smell good.

Related posts:

1. Why You do NOT Deserve to be the TIME Magazine Person of the Year

So let me tell you how infuriated I get when I have to do extra work because I follow the damned rules. As if it’s not bad enough to have to deal with automated telephone systems, I am now asked to press 1 for English

Excuse me? I’m pretty sure that I am the default. I shouldn’t have to do jack shit to speak English^[1]. In fact, I should be given free discounts because I speak the damned language.

And that upsets me to the point of abusing customer service representatives (who are, by the way, quite possibly the most abused people in the world — especially if they’re really speaking that awful flavor of Indian-English).

So my ultimatum is this: if you ask me to press 1 to speak English, I am not going to. I am going to sit there. And wait. And if I get disconnected, you will lose my business. If I get forwarded to an operator, I will then tell them about my new refusal to press 1 to speak English, at which point they will roll their eyes and forward me to the proper Indian-speaking rep.

Furthermore, my solution to the afflicted situation is simple, and done by most responsible-behaving organizations: quickly state “Habla ‘espanol’ a hablar Espanol”, or something like that, pause for 3 seconds, and carry on in English if nothing is said.

But I’m not done yet. I am uninterested in treating the effect, but not the cause. Once English becomes the official language, we can get to the root of everything. Thus, I am in support of the recently proposed bill that requires general English understanding to acquire US citizenship.

Once we’re there, I am then in favor of allowing absolutely anyone who can grasp this to become a US citizen, so long as they don’t commit violent crimes (and if they do, I am also in favor of torturing them).

In conclusion, I will no longer press 1 to speak English. And if you think you’re going to change me, you must have forgotten how stubborn of a Roberto I am. I do not change. I will die not changing, and I would rather die than press 1.

^[1]Unless I’m calling Japan, and at that point I am actually more interested in speaking Engrish.

Related posts:

1. I Didn’t Want to Go There Anyway…
2. My letter to Congresswoman Jane Harman
3. Land of the Free, Right?

In 1998, Disney blessed the world with the motion picture debut of Lohan in the remake of The Parent Trap. The unoriginal yet successful film launched a career full of cutesy, teenage bopperslop that no longer limited the innocently attractive Lohan to commercials and soap operas. During this time, there were typical teenage altercations, such as the feud with Hilary Duff over the theft of Duff’s boyfriend. But in 2005, things really began going downhill, and haven’t stopped since.

It is of no coincidence that just around the time when Lohan’s screws were literally coming loose, Fox released Family Guy Presents: Stewie Griffin – The Untold Story. In a sub-plot of this humorous movie, Peter Griffin begins starring in a role titled “What Really Grinds My Gears” on the local news station, where he rants about something that bothers him.

It sounds innocent enough, but one such episode would go on to change the Hollywood landscape for a decade, possibly more:

You know what really grinds my gears? This Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits. Ya know? You’re a… You’re out there jumping around and I’m just sitting here with my beer. So, what am I supposed to do? What you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you’re trying to – why why are you leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my, over there in my face? What do you want, Lindsay? Tell me what you want? Well, I’ll tell you what you want, you want nothing. You want nothing. All right? Because we all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is – is just bogus.

– Peter Griffin, The Stewie Griffin Story

The force seen above began to rear its ugly head during its conception throughout 2005. Lohan’s apparent loss of focus put her in the news three different times when she continued to get into car accidents. A mysterious, dark fog had been cast over the essence of Lindsay Lohan.

Troubles continued with hospital visits for her seemingly out-of-control eating, drinking, and smoking habits.

Lindsay’s eventual viewing of The Stewie Griffin Story was when things must have been put into perspective for her, but the process was slow. I imagine she watched the above scene over 50 times, contemplating the effects of her life and career upon the rest of the world.

And who could blame her? What would you do if an overweight, fictitious character who represents America’s blundering and dwindling middle-class had just told you that your entire existence is one big tease upon the world? That you are nothing but a pair of sticks and circles, here to somehow simultaneously impress men into thinking they have a chance with someone like you all while being forced into becoming a role model to the most forlorn group of adolescent girls that this society somehow managed to vomit upon older generations? Lindsay was confused at first, and rightfully so — it is a rare circumstance when a cartoon character crams your entire life into a 40 second diatribe.

The first phase of Lindsay’s path to realization was confusion. Poor driving, alcohol and cigarette abuse as linked above. The next phase was anger, which couldn’t have been helped by the divorce of her low-life parents.

After anger comes apathy, an emotion I am extremely knowledgeable about. After all, why bother caring about anything when you are coming to the realization that your boobs are carrying you rather than the other way around? Lohan then began have a fun time, no?

And finally came clarity. Self-realization. Lindsay Lohan declared that she would no longer be Peter Griffin’s slave of frustration. She would no longer be cast in the throes of tyranny as specified by fat men who prefer suing children and their mothers rather than fostering family values. She would no longer pretend to do the job of negligent parents in entertaining and impressing upon their bastard children while said parents chase the misinterpreted American dream with their 60-hour work weeks because their warped vision of true happiness is the escalating competition with their contemptible neighbors by purchasing shinier cars and all-brick homes that masquerade the empty misery of all members within.

Lohan had had enough. In late 2006, Lohan had a “surprisingly frank interview” with News of the World, clamoring to have sex with as many people as possible while all males remain monogamous towards her.

Lindsay Lohan had finally come undone. No longer an impossibility to Peter Griffin. The question of whether she wants to “go out” has been answered (the answer is “no” if you couldn’t figure it out). No longer a cute role model for Soccer Mom USA to throw a video in front of little Sally while she runs next door for a mid-afternoon booty call with the neighbor. This, of course, being the same mother who urges Sally to “do as I say and not as I do”. Lohan had effectively shattered the double-standard of my generation in the course of one drunken interview.

Well Lindsay, the wise, old staff here at MikeRoberto.com wishes you well in your campaign against Peter Griffin. We support your regrettable interviews. But just note two things: 10 years from now, when we see a picture of your haggard face in some mug-shot, you will have wished that you took better care of your body. And second, don’t drink and drive — you’re already a bad enough driver around here as it is.

No related posts.

In what could be the greatest literary cop-out of this young century, TIME Magazine has surprised the world and selected YOU to be their annual Person of the Year. That’s right, they chose you.

Now, I know that 2006 has been quite a pathetic and abysmal year as far as world news goes, and the primary choices were bleak at best… but YOU? ME?!

TIME’s article is well-written, inspiring, and thought-provoking. But it’s also dead wrong. Here’s why:

Social Media – Few working for all

For starters, the report linked from this page states that only about 8% of people blog. While that’s not a bad number, but it’s certainly not enough to warrant any awards. And I seriously question the number of those blogs that are frequently updated.

If that’s not enough data, then look at this article: Top 100 Digg Users Control 56% of Digg’s Homepage Content. For those of you who don’t know, Digg.com is a community-based website that focuses primarily on technology and allows users to submit articles and digg, or vote, the popular ones to the front page.

Similarly, you can check out The Importance of 10%. This article spells out the 1:10:89 rule:

The 1% rule for social media, which says that for any group of 100 people, there will be 1 person that actually creates content, 10 people that interact with the content, and 89 that just view the content. This is also called the 1:10:89 Rule.

Those numbers might be a bit off, but you get the point: few do the work for many.The same goes for Wikipedia. See the article on Pareto Principle, and offending links therein.

And then, of course, there’s YouTube. The site whose success is almost entirely due to copyrighted Comedy Central clips and idiots setting themselves on fire and the like. How many of YOU have actually posted a video on YouTube though?

And for those of you that have posted something to YouTube, such as these girls in the hugely popular Hey Clip (which I can’t bring myself to watch more than 12 seconds of), good work – you just made someone else a boatload of money, courtesy of Google’s speculative investors. Why do you deserve an award for that?

So relatively few of you blog, submit articles to wikipedia, post videos on YouTube, or do anything collaborative on the Internet besides waste your time on MySpace (I’m not without guilt on this one). TIME has it all wrong.

I’m just getting started…

But now you got me mad, people. Not only are you undeserving of this award, you are undeserving of anything besides a slap in the face. Let’s take a look at how badly you’re screwing things up:

• You spend $1.10 for every $1.00 you make (original data here).

  Is anybody aware of how freaking bad this is?!?! Do any of you realize that this is cited as one of the potential causes of the Great Depression? I’m not saying we’re heading there, but I AM saying to stop spending money you don’t have and won’t have in the near future.

• 4.7% of you are delinquent on your mortgage payments, a steadily rising number. 12.6% of subprime borrowers are not making payments.

  With all the ARMs (adjustable rate mortgages) out there, I have a hard time believing that there won’t be a lot of foreclosures next year. Especially now that 20% of mortgages are sub-prime, stated income mortgages are increasingly used, 60% of you sub-prime people are lying about your incomes, and many of you have negative equity in your homes.

  Let me spell this out for you: STOP BUYING SHIT YOU CAN’T AFFORD. IT IS BAD FOR YOU AND BAD FOR THE ECONOMY.

• You are still building shitty automobiles, and your mistakes are beginning to take their toll.

  

  I’m all for American-made products whenever it makes sense, but I’m sorry, never in my life would I trade my Acura in for a Ford or GM vehicle. An increasing number of Americans agree with me this past decade.

• Manufacturing might be next… ISM is under 50. Every time this happened since the 60s, we’ve gone into a recession
• In 2000, we had a glut of crappy websites, network hardware, and overpriced NASDAQ stocks. Now, we have a glut of crappy cars and homes that people can’t afford. Which bubble bursts louder?

  And despite this bad news, what did you do? You ran the stock market up to an all-time high this year. Shown to the side is the Wilshire 5000 Index, an all-around market indicator. Go ahead and check out any other indicator and you’ll see the same thing – you have driven the stock market to its highest points.

  Now excuse me for my bearishness, but am I the only one that doesn’t think that the US economy is at an all-time best? trade deficits are astronomical (admittedly no thanks to my Acura purchase), the dollar is steadily losing its value, inflation is NOT under control, we still have practically no control over the most important thing to our economy (oil), and everybody’s collectively in debt. In the meantime, our “conservative” government went and spent more money than any other administration in history.

  I hope I’m wrong, but I just don’t feel like investing at this “high” right now.

I’m not done yet…

• Nearly a quarter of you still smoke…
• 32.2% of you are obese….
• …while anywhere from 57 to 62% of you think that me and my tax money should pick up the fucking tab when you get sick from it all
• In the meantime, over half of you STILL don’t vote… despite all of those political YouTube videos you kids watched.

  There is one thing I’ll admit that I’m happy you did: enough of you showed up at the polls to neutralize the man who may end up being the single worst president of US history.

And then there’s entertainment…

• You have made Paris Hilton ridiculously famous for reasons I can’t fathom.
• You have made it impossible for me to go grocery shopping without seeing magazines that ALL feature either Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, and/or Jessica Simpson on the cover
• You paid tens of billions of dollars for one of the absolute worst movie years I can remember
• 59% of you still use an inferior web browser (that number is even higher in the US) – possibly the single most exploited and costly piece of software in the history of computing.
• And, of all offenses, NICKELBACK is in the top 3 album sales of 2006. Are you people serious?

America, I really do love you. The fact that I am writing this (and that I can write this) proves that. But boy are you giving me the fits lately.

You need accountability. You need responsibility. Stop spending money that you don’t have, stop eating food you don’t need, and stop obsessing with insignificant things like gay marriage, marijuana prohibition, and Nicole Richie.

And stop pretending that you deserve to be the Person of the Year. Because you don’t.

2006 will go down as a horribly delusional year, and the only thing that’s worse is the aftermath that we’ll have to deal with in 2007.

Related posts:

1. Good Riddance Smart Money Magazine – A Smart Money Review
2. Funny Screenshot on Digg.com Re: Windows Security
3. Humiliation: The Latest Craze in Entertainment