Those of you who followed me during the MS150 know how I excited I was on “the hunt”. Immediately after I finished the ride, I pulled my cell phone out of my bag and messaged Eric to see if he finished yet (he had not).
In the process, my ID and the $23 wrapped around it must have slipped out, because it was gone after that. I realized this later, and had to get to the airport early to board the flight and get searched.
So guess what I got in the mail today:
A letter from C. REEVE (let’s call him ‘Christopher’, for the obvious reasons) of Bridges Fairway in Houston:
FOUND THIS DL. ON THE STREETS OF AUSTIN, 4-13-08
with my ID enclosed. How amazing is that?! ‘Christopher’, you’re my new hero! As much as I love this part of California, Texas is the only place where I see such friendly people. Awesome!
So it’s time for a new poll. How do I re-pay Christopher?
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Your comments are appreciated and welcome!
THANKS CHRISTOPHER!
(PS - It’s been far too long for me. We gotta file this one under HUMILIATIONS. Coming soon - my technological review of the tracker app, along with a write-up on the cycling culture I witnessed)
A thank you note is ALWAYS a feel good way to let someone know how much you appreciate what has passed between you. Also, send him the link to your blog - he has officially made the famous Berto Blog in the most positive way. But, perhaps the best thing you can do is, as they say, PAY IT FORWARD……….
P.S. How DID you get on the airplane - did you once again use your 10 minutes of daily charm???
While I am not a spiritual person, I sometimes believe in a universal system of karma. After all, when you win, there has to be at least one loser. And when you win big, there has to be a big loser.
So after last weekend’s OODD (Ohio Obliteration Domination Day), it only made sense that there was someone out there on the receiving end of all the punishment that Ohio handed out.
That somebody’s name is Galante. He is a Vanderbilt alum who roots for LSU when he wants to cheer for a real team. A Chicago Bears fan who never lived in Chicago (or even in the Midwest). And one lousy defensive flag football player. This is what he sent after getting his hat handed to him all weekend long. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Galante, the OODD Antipodean, the man who got what he deserved:
Ok so that was perhaps one of the worst football weekends of my life. Anybody that thinks their weekend was even remotely as bad, read the below and then try to talk to me. No, I’m not bitter or anything… (long email to follow - but I bet you will laugh thinking of me that pissed off)
Let’s start off Saturday. LSU (my second team behind Vandy) keeps letting Kentucky back into the game, can’t put them away, the refs sucked [Kentucky's] ass for lack of a better phrase, and the deserved number 1 team in the nation goes down. And don’t anybody give me some crap about how Ohio State is the true number 1 in the land (South Florida is more deserving then they are). The Big Ten is nowhere near the level of the SEC! Why do you think LSU only dropped to number 5?
Then, Vanderbilt has Georgia on the ropes at home for homecoming (yeah, one of these days our athletic leaders will learn to schedule a frickin winnable homecoming game), 17-17, driving late in the 4th quarter. Literally (no joke), right as I call my Vandy alum brother to see if he is watching the game on ESPN2, Vandy runs to the Georgia 7 yd line and fumbles the football with 2 min to go. The end result, surprise surprise, Vandy lets Georgia go right down the field and kick a chip shot FG as time expires to win. Georgia in their classy ways then proceeded to celebrate on the Vandy star and move up in the Top 25 of all things. I’da taken off my mascot helmet and bitch slapped some of those UGA players with it. Needless to say, I hung up the phone on my brother as soon as we fumbled. Besides, he hadn’t answered yet anyway.
Then, that’s right, not done yet, now we go to Sunday, I’m sure Papa Bear George Halas was rolling over in his grave after watching Adrian Peterson basically sexually assault our defense. Yeah, we came back (or should I say Devin Hester did), only for him to kick us in the groin again on the ensuing kickoff return to setup a game winning FG. Somewhere, Courtney (the Viking ex-GF) is laughing at me… And how the hell did I end up in a bar a block from my home that happened to be infested with possibly ALL of the obnoxious Viking and Packer fans living in SoCal. I wish I had a taser at the time (to subdue myself first so I didn’t have to listen to those punks). Oh yeah, Green Bay won too (bite me Favre) and the Patriots took out the Cowboys. Great Sunday (if you’re bent over in a shower in prison!).
Then Sunday wasn’t over. I played a flag football doubleheader with a pulled quad that is nicely colored yellow and purple right now (at least they’re decent team colors) and a bum heel. My team got swept, and I of course got burned twice for TD’s by a lanky, gimpy dude because I couldn’t seem to grab a flag to save my life and because this white boy (yours truly that is) couldn’t jump to knock a ball out of an in stride 6 ft 6 slow white boy. Great weekend indeed… How was everyone else’s weekend?
… thank you Galante! And to answer your final question… it was a lot better than yours! GO INDIANS, else my weekend might be worse than his!
For well over three years, I have been constantly abusing the word “humiliation”. I revel in the minor doses of fame resulting from stories of my getting into and out of pitiful situations. I didn’t know that this would happen, but it now seems as though personal humiliation is an incredible way to get attention in today’s morally-declining American society – which often equates to measures of success.
Take, for instance, the mother of all humiliations in the news recently: Miss Teen USA 2007, South Carolina – Caitlin Upton. It’s been viewed over 14 million times, and I still can’t watch the entire thing:
Ten years ago, this girl’s life would have been over. But not anymore, thanks to the Internet. Tell me, how many of you can actually recognize the winner of Miss Teen USA? I know I couldn’t, but if I saw Caitlin on the street, I’d immediately recognize her. Not only that, but she’s now had major follow-up interviews, and I can guarantee you that magazines like FHM will are trying to get her into sexy photo shoots. The landscape has changed indeed.
There are two ways which Britney could have gotten all of the attention she received:
She knocks everyone’s socks off (not likely), or
She is a trainwreck (very likely).
As expected, Britney bombed in flying colors, yielding more press than a good performance would ever have received. Her constant humiliation has kept her in the spotlight. For someone struggling to keep things alive, no press is bad press.
What hasn’t been removed from YouTube, however, is the defensively embarrassing video “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” from Britney’s #1 fan, Chris Tucker. Nobody heard of this loser until this video was made. Now nearly 5 million people have watched it. In case you haven’t, here it is:
In case you didn’t know, Chris is a male, and is somehow gaining a monstrous fan base. Does anyone see a problem here?
Now let’s take a look at the lighter side of popular-culture humiliation. The Zombie Kid who Likes Turtles:
Ten years ago, 10,000 people in Portland, OR would have seen this on the evening news, said “what in the hell?”, and went to bed, all to forget about it the next day. Now, over a million people have seen Jonathon Ware — he gets recognized everywhere, t-shirts have been made with the “I Like Turtles” slogan, and there is a Washington Post Article summing up the whole experience.
For my last exhibit, my favorite humiliation of all, is “Flaming Shot Goes Terribly Wrong”:
I’ve seen this video over 50 times (more on that in the future), and laugh every time I see it. These guys are true heroes to our generation of idiots, including myself. “Flaaaaaaaaming!”
What’s the point?
My point is this. The Internet is moving towards a self-aggrandizing style of short-lived entertainment fueled by Generation Y-ers’ passion to put themselves in the spotlight at any cost. America has loved humiliation for several years, starting with the television show “COPS” and MTV’s “The Real World”, and then moving towards reality TV and shows like “Jackass”.
Your typical 30+ year old would never want to be shown on the Internet partaking in such self defeatism. They wisely cower at the sight of video cameras, and don’t want to be the center of this Internet-based attention.
Generation Y, however, is embracing that humiliation, and taking it to levels I never imagined. We are, as a young society, increasingly becoming attention-whores.
The rest of us just revel in everyone else’s humiliations because it makes us feel better about our worthless, emotionally-neglected selves, thanks to the lack of proper parenting because we decided to toss a generation of children in extended day care rather than raise them like normal humans just so that everyone could afford a 3,000 square foot house and country club membership.
Whew - that was all very profound……….However, the best (and of course, my favorite) was your last paragraph….. Let it be known, Mikey Roberto was NOT A DAY CARE KID…… Hence, the reason our family was never rich (in $$$) or belonged to a country club. I’d like to think he was raised by “normal humans”, but then, where did all this humiliation come from………….Gotta love him!!!
Holy crap, that leave britney alone video can NOT be real. That kid needs a serious ass whoopin! Unless he is home schooled, he will probably get one soon.
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As expected, Britney bombed in flying colors, yielding more press than a good performance would ever have received. Her constant humiliation has kept her in the spotlight. For someone struggling to keep things alive, no press is bad press.
lon said,
04.19.08 at 11:54 am
so was the $23 returned too? The answer will determine my poll vote.
Berto said,
04.19.08 at 11:59 am
No - But how do we know if Christopher took it or someone else did and threw the ID back onto the street?
Or if the money was even still wrapped around the ID (it was just folded) after it fell and got kicked around a bit?
The Momma Berto said,
05.08.08 at 11:43 am
A thank you note is ALWAYS a feel good way to let someone know how much you appreciate what has passed between you. Also, send him the link to your blog - he has officially made the famous Berto Blog in the most positive way. But, perhaps the best thing you can do is, as they say, PAY IT FORWARD……….
P.S. How DID you get on the airplane - did you once again use your 10 minutes of daily charm???