08.31.10

Two Paths From Here

Posted in Entrepreneurship, Life, The Universe, and Everything at 5:53 pm

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
–Robert Frost

Tomorrow is the big day. My first day as a fully self-employed entrepreneur.

Over the past few months, as I’ve seen this time coming, I asked myself who I was going to be in the foreseeable future. And the more I thought and talked about it, the more clear it became.

I could really see it going one of two ways.

The first way is the easy way. As it stands now, I could very easily live off of the profits from my websites without dipping into my savings. I’d have to watch the expenses, but could easily do 15 minutes of work per day and become a total beach bum. I’d play volleyball, become a better surfer, work out all day, drink cheap malt liquor, and do whatever the hell it is that all of these California bums you see wandering around all day do. Occasionally, I’d get inspired and launch a new web campaign and make it profitable.

The second path is the exact opposite. Go for The Empire. Dominate several tiny niches of the web, then aggregate them into a massive network that feeds into an enormous machine. Attack industries that need attacking, and inform users that need informing. Hire employees, learn social media, and even do “In Real Life” marketing. Buy a fancy house, own a boat, and invest in land – all in cash. Stay healthy, keep racing, and learn some new weapon skills, but occasionally go on some ridiculous international drunken bender and let things coast for the week.

I really could see me doing either for a while. But it’s pretty much one or the other.

And as things become more and more clear, I am pretty sure I know which one it’s going to be. You probably do too.

Permalink 4 Comments

08.28.10

Quitting a Job is Hard

Posted in Entrepreneurship, Life, The Universe, and Everything, Written While Drunk at 8:31 am

Wow. Ever since Shit Got Real, I’ve been one busy guy. You’d think it was because I’ve been working on my own business, but I wasn’t. I was transitioning my sales territory to the new guy. It’s kind of funny, but since quitting my job, I’ve worked harder for it than I have for years.

I never realized how many people I’ve met over the past four years, and how hard saying goodbye would be. There are literally hundreds of people that I’ve helped, supported, and have become professional friends with. Their feedback has been incredible – they all support my endeavor but know that the new guy will be better than I was. Honestly, I’m gonna miss nearly all of them.

All of my customers kept telling the new guy how big of shoes he has to fill. Really? I guess I didn’t think I was that great of a sales guy, so maybe I’ll have to write something on how I operated as a technical sales rep, because I guess it worked. In short, my four pieces of advice would be these:

1. SHUT UP, ask questions, and listen
2. Follow up
3. Don’t be a douchebag
4. Delegate anything and everything to the geniuses at corporate.

Customers knew that I wasn’t the guy with all the answers, but they also knew that I’d crack skulls in an effort to get the answers for them. With an incredibly proactive company like NI, skull-cracking usually isn’t necessary, but sometimes it is. And I will fuck you in the ass if you dare downplay me and my customer. I really wasn’t a sales guy OR an engineer, so much as I was a “Resource Manager”. I liked that. It was the closest I’d ever come to being a pimp. Why spend 45 minutes trying to figure something out when I could get someone in corporate to do it in 5? Delegation is key, and something I’m trying to figure out in my own business (and kinda failing at thus far, admittedly).

Everyone says it’s good to not burn bridges. But let’s face it – I will NEVER return to National Instruments, the Test and Measurement industry, nor corporate America in general (unless ClutchWave IPOs – which isn’t part of “the plan”). I’ve made some of the best friends ever at NI, but don’t really care about the professional bridge. No doubt, the NI connection is great, but my gripe is more with Corporate America in general. I don’t want or need back in. So why did I bust my ass transitioning the next guy in when it wasn’t in my personal best interests? Well, in a few words… because I’m one helluva nice guy. I want to leave something better than the way I found it. And I can truly say that I did that.

Anyway, come September 1st, I’m going to wake up and be on my own. I’m nervously excited. I have a plan and I know what I want to do. And I’m gonna do it.

Permalink 1 Comment

08.16.10

What I Learned From Being a Reality TV Character – Part 1 of 3 – On the Set

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything, TV at 9:27 pm

This is part 1 of a 3 part series. Part 1 is about being on the set of a Reality TV Show.

Crash Test Lobby Card

Exactly a year ago, I was thrown into a reality TV pilot titled Crash Test, which aired on Spike TV on April 27th, 2010. On Crash Test, we used top-notch stuntmen and stuntwomen to recreate accidents and crime scenes to see who was really guilty or innocent.

I was the “biomedical scientist” of the bunch, and took measurements to determine if the real-life accidents would have really occurred in our simulations had we not been using professional stuntmen and women.

70MPH Remote-Controlled Crash

For reasons I’d rather not get into, the show is not moving forward with a whole season, despite its rave reviews from both sexes and all age groups (further despite the bad rating on IMDB… who’s the clown that gave us a 1/10?!). So at this point, I’d like to add my perspective.

I was thrown into the project at the absolute last minute, and even missed a day of filming. I had one full day to prepare, which included finding sensors, programming my hardware and software, doing the research on the accidents we were about to recreate and how I should take measurements.

Being on set was absolute chaos, and probably the coolest experience of my life up to this point — and I’d like to thank Reveille Studios, Tim Prokop, and Spike TV for giving me this incredible opportunity. So here is what I learned from being the geek on the set of a Reality TV show:

1. Come Prepared (Gear)
   If you’re doing anything technical, you better make sure your stuff works PERFECTLY before getting there, and is completely self-contained. When your gear is needed, there is absolutely no time to make last-minute changes or fix a programming issue.

   Your devices need to be self-contained. You are not guaranteed how far away it will be or if there will be power nearby. You need to be able to flip a switch and have it ready to go.

   There might also be a lot of time between turning it on and when the film is actually rolling (see the “Hurry up and Wait” section), so make sure you have a lot of memory and battery life.

   At this point, I must give a shout-out and thank NI Systems Engineering* for their assistance, specifically David Harding. Also Otmar, Caroline, and Simon in NI DIAdem and LabVIEW Marketing, and my good buddy Paul Mandeltort for being all-around smart as hell. Thanks guys!

   *(side note: If you’re an NI customer working on a very large project and are not leveraging these resources, you’re crazy NOT to contact your local rep and make sure you’re doing things right!)

2. Come Prepared (Research)
   
   

   SCIENTISTS > Engineers!

   You are the expert on whatever the hell you’re doing. Or so the country believes. One of the directors is going to be asking you questions from your perspective. You need to know what’s going on, and how to compare it to real world stuff so that the audience has a clue what you’re talking about?

   There was 40g of force? Guess what, geek – that means nothing to 99.5% of the country. But “it’s the same impact force as getting hit by a college lineman off the line of scrimmage”? Cool, now you’re talkin.

   This one was tough for me, as I had to worry about programming my gear on top of knowing what amount of force typically breaks a vertebrate, information not always easy to find.

   And am I an expert biomedical scientist? Fuck yeah.

3. Be Aggressive
   Get your ass in front of the camera! Tell the camera guys that you have something cool to show them. If there’s a critical scene that you pretty much KNOW will make the final cut, make sure your face is visible and you have some decent input (unless told not to). There were a lot of times when I was behind a computer but should have popped my head in to make some comments.

   Additionally, don’t let any crew members do any setup stuff that could get you on TV more. Do all things that pertain to your role.

   In our show, Casey was operating the high-speed camera. That should have been MY job – because it would be my job to take the video and synchronize it with my data. Another example is the guy who’s hammering in the stake that connected to the chains that held the trailer down. That should have been Casey doing that. Get aggressive.

4. Research YOURSELF
   I learned a lot about myself by watching myself on video. Before you go on set, have a friend videotape you doing similar things that you’ll be doing on the show. For me, I would have taped myself walking around, using the computer, hooking stuff up, standing and arguing, etc.
   
   

   Front row seats to this crash? Priceless

   
   Here’s what I would have improved about myself had I seen myself on camera first (and yes, this will sound horribly lame and egocentric, but it’s the truth):
   • I didn’t realize how much I hated my beard length until I saw it. I was on setting #3 throughout the show, and will always be at #1 or #2 from now on. I can’t believe I’ve worn #3 that much without noticing!
   • My eyebrows need trimming. Not waxing or grooming, but trimming – they’re just too damned long. My barber, Daisy, now takes care of this… but I wish I would have done this earlier… like 15 years earlier. Very “gay” of me to say so, but very true.
   • I hate those jeans. And I wear them ALL THE TIME (note: despite writing this… 1 year later, I still wear those. I really am a lazy POS)
   • Build up my traps. I’m a swimmer, my shoulders should look better under a polo shirt than that!

   A picture is NOT worth a thousand words – a video is.

5. Get some sleep before filming.

   Because I was pulled in at the last minute, I was spending all-nighters coding up my experiments. And boy, did that take its toll. I was a zombie by the end of the filming days, messing things up, and had huge bags under my eyes. This may conflict with rule #1, but we all have a minimal number of hours of sleep in order to function properly and you need to get that much. For me, it’s 4 hours.

6. Hurry up and Wait!
   

   Me, TJ, and Casey take a break from the heat

   Being on the set is nothing short of pure chaos. You will be sitting around, waiting for your part, and then when it’s time, you better be in the vicinity and ready to rock and roll. Not out back flirting with that cutie Kelia or the stunt girls (heh). And then you’ll be called over for your part… just in time to get yelled at and probably wait another 10 minutes for no logical reason whatsoever.

   Hurry up and wait – Be prepared but chill out. It’ll take time as the other ongoing chaos unfolds.

7. Know who is who on the crew.
   
   

   Matt Discusses the Tornado

   
   You will get a “Call Sheet” that has everyone’s jobs and names. Understand what their roles are and try to remember their names. If you have time, research what is a “Line Producer” vs. an “Assistant Director”, what the Grips are, and so on. This will pay MASSIVE dividends. Treat them all incredibly well. Also note that if it’s a pilot, defined roles are not clearly set and everyone wears a zillion hats, so if you need something, just keep asking for it (or keep asking who to ask) until you get the right person.

   Also, the director is KING. Do whatever he says, with little argument unless you know it’s awfully wrong. Otherwise, guess what… you will get cut out of that scene! Don’t try to “write” over what they want you to say, you’ll just get yelled at. Right Casey?

8. Day Before Shooting Chaos!

   The day before filming will be the most chaotic day you’ve ever lived through. Nothing will be ready. You’ll have to go to Home Depot and Radio Shack 35 times. There will be studio employees driving all over the city trying to get stuff for this project to work. I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life. And somehow, you’ll get through it with flying colors. And get some sleep!

9. Acting!

   There is definitely a component of acting. You will be asked to say and do certain things multiple times, even if they already caught your natural reaction. Do your best – you’re a shitty actor and everyone knows it, so there’s not a ton of pressure, but they might be able to get a few seconds of better crap out of you.

10. Product placement
    

    Pimpin DIAdem? You bet!

    As an engineer using tools on the set, you’ll get a ton of companies wanting to give you free stuff for product placement. It’s really cool. However, those placements will be FAST and the company needs to decide if it’s really worth it for them to waste a whole day getting it in the show. I personally think it’s worth it, but don’t expect your product to be slowly called out and for us to pop your website onto the screen. Action is too fast.

    As the rep for National Instruments at the time, I had access and know-how to use NI gear. I put it freaking everywhere. I finally got PXI on TV. I put DIAdem and LabVIEW logos in my software for the screenshots (see image). Get aggressive but don’t go over the top. Note: NDAs and other contracts will need to be signed between the studio and the vendors.

11. Have Fun
    

    Matt havin fun in the Tornado

    It was stressful at times on that set, but things started slowing down by the final couple of days. Remember you’re on there to make good TV! Have fun and be yourself! It’s an experience you might never get again, so enjoy it, make friends, and smile.

As I finish writing this, I am kind of bummed out. Working with Tim Prokop, Casey, TJ, Jack, and the Stunts Unlimited guys was such a cool experience. John Schneider is a total pimp. This show was fucking awesome, and I really wish we could have received a full season.

I have to admit that it PISSES me off to see such garbage that is on TV nowadays, and when we try to put something out with some semblance of intelligence, we get one episode. But money talks, and as you can imagine, it cost a lot of money. It was simply too risky, and I understand that business decision. But it doesn’t mean I can’t be jealous or mad at society for watching nothing but slop when our show doesn’t work out!

As I become fully self-employed next month, I am going to throw my hat in the ring and audition for a few other geeky reality shows. I would be happy to be the geek on or off the set. It’s fun and a great challenge.

This concludes part 1, on the set. Coming next up next: Post-filming.

Permalink 1 Comment

08.06.10

SHIT JUST GOT REAL

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything at 8:24 am

This week, I tendered my resignation to my employer, National Instruments, in order to focus on my own internet marketing business that I started.

I spent 1.5 years as an Applications Engineer at NI Corporate in Austin, TX, and almost 4 years as a technical sales manager in the South Bay / Aerospace Corridor of Los Angeles (where I currently plan to stay).

There is never a good time to leave a sales job. It wasn’t even my intent to put my notice in this week, but after discovering that there were other changes occurring in the territory, I thought it would be best to notify my managers as soon as possible so that they could get their house in order.

My original plan was to stay until the end of the quarter to help transition the next guy in, but that’s nearly two months out and we don’t need that much time. Thus, my exit date has been pushed in to the end of this month. I now jokingly tell my friends that “I got fired” but that is nowhere near the truth. So as of September 1, 2010, I will be self-employed.

As with any job, there are ups and downs. However, I have absolutely no ill will towards NI, and this was a decision that was going to happen no matter what I was doing or who I was working for. I simply want to run my own ship. National Instruments is a great company to work for – but sales has given me a taste of freedom and now I want even more.

You will NOT find a finer, nicer group of ridiculously talented engineers than those that work at NI. I am serious about this. The relationships I’ve developed at NI will last a lifetime, and I know that many of you NI employees are on to doing some great, world-changing things. I may even join you. The reactions I’ve received from fellow employees regarding my decision have been extraordinary, and honestly the most interesting part of this process.

As a salesperson, you are the face of the company to thousands of people. As such, I often had to temper the things that I publicly wrote here. Over time, I simply stopped blogging because of this. You can’t risk a business relationship because of some opinions that you hold (and those who know me know that I hold my opinions). But starting in September, I won’t have that concern.

I’m not going to go into my future plans just yet, as I am still an employee of NI and have a job to finish (and I WILL finish it right), but I just wanted to chime in that things are going to change around here. One of those changes is that I plan to write more about my experiences as a struggling entrepreneur who admittedly has very little clue what he’s doing. I hope you can join me on my journey

It’s been a wild, weird week, and I’m ready for it to end. But first, I am going to enjoy Austin, TX with some of my best friends.

Permalink 4 Comments

09.11.08

Fellow Buckeyes – So You Wanna Visit LA?

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything, Rants, Sports at 10:16 pm

Two years ago, I wrote the first-ever post on mikeroberto.com: Fellow Buckeyes – So You Wanna Visit Austin?. This posting was passed around many discussion forums and groups of people, and has yielded 6,370 hits over the course of time. The average person stays for 6 minutes, and 20% of visitors go on to read something else on my blog.

I loved Austin and wanted to share my joy (and contempt) for the city. I received a lot of good and bad press due to my comments. I learned that when writing, you are putting yourself out there — you need to be thick-skinned and stick to your guns.

Since then, I moved to Hermosa Beach in the South Bay area of Los Angeles to start a new life chapter. I can honestly say that with the possible exception of the 2002 football season or the entire 2004 school year at Ohio State, I’ve never been a happier person. I love life, I love where I live, and I love what I do on a daily basis.

The thing is, I no longer have anything to prove to you. I don’t care if you have a good or bad time in LA. I don’t care if you go to Hollywood when you really should be checking out the South Bay and parts of Orange County.

So many people in the Midwest have never visited LA (or CA for that matter), but still had to share their opinions that I shouldn’t come here. They think it’s a horrible place because “they’ve heard”. They heard there were too many mean people. Rude drivers. High crime, gays, drug abusers, etc.

Rather than listen to the uninformed, sheltered Midwestern masses, I came and experienced. It took me three weekends, but I found the spot in this big city where I could get along. Sure there are bad elements – it is a big city after all – but that’s why you shop around.

So I am not going to write a guide on what to do here. There are plenty of places to find that out, such as yelp.com or the OSU and USC message boards.

Instead, I’m going to tell you a bit about the South Bay, the area where I live in LA.

That first year in LA is rough — if you don’t approach it right, it will eat you alive. If you don’t get active in some sort of productive scene, you will perish. If you are a slug and don’t latch onto the energy, you will get kicked to the curb and turn into a nobody.

For me, the scene that brought me into this fold of energy and activity was beach volleyball. It is definitely the best way to meet normal people out here. It has given LA such a small-town feel for me. You can’t just go out to bars here and expect to meet quality people.

I don’t know why, but when I moved here, I didn’t expect there to be so much partying. Instead, I learned that down here, nobody grows up. There are 35 year olds partying harder than I did as a 25 year old. Nobody gets married. Everyone is dating 4 other people. There is always something going on. Everyone is beautiful and in good shape. It is an adult playground. IT IS COMPETITIVE.

This competition is scary, but don’t let it scare you off. You must step up your game here, in all aspects of the word. You must adapt to the energy. For me, it brought my fight and drive back. It has brought my social skills to new levels.

Californians are a different breed. I still don’t understand them, but let me tell you, they love to talk. At first, I thought they were trying to get something out of me, but then I learned to relax — all they want is a nice Midwestern ear to fill. When everyone talks and is hopped up on 8 cups of coffee, they will fall in love with a listener.

Despite the ridiculous amounts of stimulant-enriched energetic people here, they’re still super laid back. I love it, it’s the best of both worlds.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, PEOPLE ARE NICE.

In my Austin post, I talked about how dumb some Texans were. While true, let me tell you, I had no clue what I was in for in LA. What’s ridiculous is the diversity here – you might be walking down the street with one guy next to you who has got to be the biggest idiot on the planet, and on your other side is literally a brilliant rocket scientist. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. There is no range like this anywhere else.

Everyone in LA is a goddamned real estate expert.

The way I see it, there are only two reasons to move to LA:
1. To be by the ocean
2. To get into “the industry”

I personally see no point to living in the Inland Empire, especially if renting. I also see no reason how people live by the beach/ocean but never use them.

The traffic is awful. I stay off the highways and schedule my life around it. I don’t see how people sit in traffic every day like lemmings. Is this really what we want to be doing with our lives?

Rude drivers? I don’t know, I haven’t really seen it. I’ve never had a time when people would not let me into a lane. I’m rarely cut off by a madman on the loose. Sure, if you sit at the intersection playing on your stupid phone, you will get honked at quicker than in Texas. But there’s a lot of cars out here and we need you moving your ass on green. I have no problem honking when people deserve it, but it doesn’t happen as much as I would have thought.

The highways. It’s not Route 405, or 405. It’s THE 405. Almost like it’s THE Ohio State University, except you say “thuh” and not “thee”. The best explanation I’ve heard for having “The” in front of all of the highways is that each highway has its own very unique personality and thus becomes a proper noun. I personally love it.

I’m not into most LA clothing style. I hate the black print shirts, I hate straight brimmed hats, I hate plaid shorts, I hate high black socks, I hate sagging, and I hate that stupid ass piece of facial hair under your lower lip.

Most of the styles mentioned above are what all the “bros” wear. Unless you are one of my best friends out here, I am NOT your “bro”. I am a dude, or a man.

The heavy metal shows out here are weak as balls.

I have caught myself saying “gnarly”. I plan on keeping this one, just like I occasionally bust out a “y’all” still.

Californians like to say “no worries”. I rarely catch myself saying it, I’m just a “no problem” kind of guy.

I don’t know a damned thing about Hollywood. Don’t ask me about it, and don’t expect me to take you there when you visit, because I don’t go there unless I have a concert to attend. It’s out of my “bubble”, or my small LA geographical area of interest. It’s a pain to get there and it’s not my scene. I’m sure a Buckeye in Hollywood could write an equally interesting rant with a completely different theme… but I prefer to stay by the beach and play with dolphins.

I am falling in love with the Pacific Ocean. Sometimes she lets me ride on her shoulder, other times she beats the piss out of me. It will be tough to leave her — and I’m not sure if I ever will — I don’t make plans like that anymore. No plans.

Californians seem to drink more soda than pop. Unlike other Buckeyes, I don’t fight for “pop”. I just order a Diet Coke — why bother with vagaries?

Girls who’ve lived out here all their life hate the “transplants”, especially other girls. Those are the girls who give LA a bad name. They come out here and try to become something they’re not. They begin to FLAKE.

… and “flaking” is a big problem out here. You can make plans with some people, and have no clue who will really show up. I tend to quickly remove flakes from my life, so it doesn’t bother me too much anymore. Two or three flakes and you’re a goner. I have too many other girls chasing me to care.

Yes, the girls do chase out here. Maybe my game is just that much better, but I don’t think that’s all. If you are a girl and you don’t chase, your mating prospects will be harder. But don’t chase too hard, because that’s a turn-off too. The tables have certainly turned.

Everyone loves the environment. I now recycle like a fiend and love it. I swim in that ocean, put your garbage somewhere else.

If you’re tight on time, don’t get a Californian hybrid owner talking about their hybrid. You might still be there through sunrise.

Despite the enormous Aerospace industry out here, don’t bother talking politics if you’re a neocon. You won’t like what you find. Liberals and third-parties can get along just fine.

Gas is expensive. But not as expensive as Europe, so quit bitching. GM is really regretting killing the EV1 though. Don’t mention that to the guys in Torrance who developed the drive train for it though.

Tattoos run rampant. Especially the full-arm sleeve ones. Kind of scary, but kind of cool too. Don’t expect to see me with one anytime soon though.

If I can’t wear flip flops and a T-shirt (preferably my new Iron Maiden one), I’m not coming.

Sand is EVERYWHERE. I can’t get it out of my bed. I flew home to Cleveland and it ended up in my bed there too – I think I transported it with my ears and belly button. After enough volleyball, you eventually just give up and get used to rolling around in sand.

Sushi is on every corner. Everyone has their own favorite hole-in-the-wall Sushi spot that they love and everyone else hates. Those are fun.

Unlike Texas, good pizza CAN be found out here. It’s still difficult though.

Nobody seems to care about Arnold anymore.

Lastly,

Ohio State – 21
USC – 20

Ohio State goes undefeated, and loses the BCS National Championship to Georgia.

Have fun!

Permalink 13 Comments