11.27.07
Posted in Current Events, Politics, Rants, TV
at 11:11 pm
Early this morning, I participated in an event I never would have imagined myself taking part in: I went on strike with a labor union.
Specifically, I was a guest picketer for the Writers Guild of America (WGA), joining my dear friend Sarah Watson, writer on NBC’s forthcoming primetime show, Lipstick Jungle.
For those of you unaware, the WGA is a union which represents TV, film, and radio writers. The WGA is striking against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP), which is an industry trade group consisting of U.S. film production companies and studios (ie. GE/NBC/Universal, Disney, Time Warner, etc). Every three years, these organizations negotiate a basic contract. However, in 2007, negotiations failed, and a strike began on November 2, 2007.
The way I understand it (heavily dumbed down — explaining it is neither my jurisdiction nor purpose), there are two major sticking points to the WGA’s strike:
- DVD Residuals
The writers want 8 cents for every DVD sold, double their current 4 cents. That is 0.4% of the revenue from a $20.00 DVD.
- “New Media” Residuals
Writers currently get no money when their work is viewed through Internet downloads, streaming feeds, IPTV, or phone downloads. They want to receive the 2.5% for these (which is what they’re paid on traditional television).
The funniest thing about this strike is what a social event it seems to be for the writers. Everyone I talked to was in optimistic spirits, and was very friendly to Sarah and myself. After all, being out of work for many months at a time is nothing new to a writer. Among those that I met were
The Writers are not dumb, nor are the studios. As Internet and TV are quickly merging (take, for instance, AppleTV, Verizon FIOS, and even the growing popularity of streaming protocols such as Sopcast), each side must stand their ground and try to gain as much leverage over new media as soon as possible. This is especially true since the lines between TV and Internet are blurring and all forecasts of new media are vastly underestimated.
As a Libertarian, I find the entire situation to be a slap in the face to our country’s economic system, which resembles more and more of a joke every day. While I’ve never been pro-Union, I find it absolutely ridiculous that 6 of the largest corporations in the world can unite and dominate an industry with basically no competition between each other.
Our supposed ‘free market economy’ is dominated by corporate interests which have contributed to the disappearance of the middle class — a middle class that is vitally important to the survival of any democratic government.
I fully support the writers’ power to unionize and convene, but I also fully support the corporations power to fire their employees and do things their own way. That’s business.
What I cannot support is the fact that there are six companies worth a quarter of a trillion dollars all in bed with each other, negotiating blanket deals. These same corporations who control everything you read and hear, who are doing everything in their power to silence those who are trying to restore order to this country.
Although this strike has very little impact on my life and that of my family, I feel that it is indicative of the bigger picture — the pendulum has swung too far, and the time for mass corporate backlash is near.
My question to you writers is this: What next? Let’s say you get everything (or almost everything) you bargain for. You are still pawns in the system, stuck in a traditional business which does not fully understand the future of technology and no longer appreciates the people it serves.
Isn’t it time for something new? Why settle for this, when you can take a risk to do better — to compete with the system by starting your own production organization. After all, if you’re not willing to take this risk, then you’ve already lost.
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04.08.07
Posted in TV
at 10:43 am
“The Deuce”
SUNNY DAY IN THE PARK
The Trix Rabbit has a malicious look on his face. He is setting a trap.
TRIX RABBIT (TO HIMSELF)
Those kids are gonna wish they never messed with me this time… I can’t wait to get me some delicous and nutritious fruit-flavored TRIX!
Raspberry red, lemmony yellow, and orangedy orange, YEAH!
(Cut to next scene)
SAME SUNNY DAY IN THE PARK
Two kids are skipping down the path, box of Trix in hand. Trix Rabbit is hiding behind a tree on the right side but is purposefully sticking his ears out.
5 YEAR OLD KID 1Is it that goofy rabbit again?
5 YEAR OLD KID 2Yeah… look at those ears - he’s just getting lazy now!
The kids run across to the left side of the path.
5 YEAR OLD KID 1 (TO TRIX RABBIT)Silly Rabbit, Trix are for –
The kids fall into the Trix Rabbit’s trap. They are caught in a net up in the branches of the tree. The box of Trix falls onto the ground.
TRIX RABBITHAHAHAAHA! Now the delicious Trix are MINE! Who’s lazy now?!
The Trix Rabbit pours a bowl of cereal. Orgasmic orchestral music plays in the background, rainbow colors are flashing in the background. The Trix Rabbit begins taking enormous bites of Trix.
(PAUSE)
The Trix Rabbit gets a disappointing look on his face, quickly realizing that the Fruity Pebbles he had been eating since his last bowl of Trix (in 1991) are, in fact, a far superior breakfast cereal.
(Fade to next scene)
IN THE STALLS
The screen flashes “12 Hours Later.” The Trix Rabbit is in a public restroom, smoking a cigarette on the shitter. 5 Year Old Kids finally come in to clean themselves off from the trap.
TRIX RABBITWhat the hell man?!?!! I got GREEN SHITS!
5 YEAR OLD KID 2That’s right, asshole! Now you see what we have to deal with every time we eat that garbage!
5 YEAR OLD KID 1Yeah you bastard! Green shits aren’t just for kids you know!
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01.14.07
Posted in TV
at 10:56 pm
After 7 months of waiting, the first two installments of Fox’s hit series “24″ will finally be released to the world tonight. Due to my devastating good looks and personality, I have already made connections rather high up in Hollywood, and have secured the first four episodes of the thrilling action series.
Led by Jack Bauer and our friends at the Los Angeles CTU (Counter-Terrorist Unit) must again fight our Middle-Eastern pals who find it more important to destroy all of America rather than to lead meaningful and happy lives. We find out through the previews that Jack has been exchanged back to the United States by the Republic of China. Terrorists who have taken the country under a siege of suicide bombing attacks are demanding Jack be sacrificed in order to obtain critical information to stop the attacks.
I will not give away any details to the shows. Normally, it really wouldn’t matter because 24 has become so formulaic that you could predict everything from the start. For instance, let’s recap some of the formula:
- Jack returns from some type of hiatus in which he must overcome physical, mental, and personal issues in order to perform his job,
- CTU will have an insider and get compromised, often due to the fact that it is protected by mall security,
- A foul-smelling love plot will permeate early on in the season and fester the entire time throughout,
- It only takes 15 minutes to drive ANYWHERE in Los Angeles county (this is even more ridiculous now that I live here),
- CTU will have a high-ranking female individual who is a weak and embarrassing leader, but will also be rather pleasing to the eye,
- Someone from “Division” will come to replace CTU due to their incompetence, but will only bring more incompetence,
- A civilian family will be brought into the mix and have some sort of tremendous impact,
- Jack will go crazy and stop following protocol (often with a quality interrogation scene or two),
- The Nation’s leaders won’t listen to Jack because he’s gone crazy, only to realize he was right when it’s too late,
- All blonde-haired characters will be indestructible (Jack, Chloe, Audrey, Kim), while brunettes deal with a much higher mortality rate,
- Someone dies in the CTU hospital room,
- Jack will scream “DAMNIT!” and it will be awesome.
I’m not complaining though, because the formula is a good one, the action is great, and Kiefer Sutherland is incredible. It’s post-911 action/drama and I love it.
Moving on to this season, you can already tell that you will see some of the above formulaic traits. However, I’ll tell you this – this is NOT going to be your typical 24 season. If you think the show jumped the shark after its outlandish 5th season, then come on back aboard, because this one looks intense, and above all else, different.
Jack is different, as he’s been through a lot in China. The leadership is different, having learned from old mistakes and having a new President. The enemy is different, because there are multiple fronts. And finally, Chloe is different – she just looks hotter and is losing her charismatic attitude.
You will see things that have not happened in previous 24s. You will see Jack do things that he’s never done, and things done to Jack that haven’t been done before 
(i.e. he actually doesn’t beat the ever-living shit out of someone in one altercation, but don’t worry, that person will still die).
These new twists, along with others, make 24 extremely promising. Watch the first four episodes and tell me you aren’t absolutely hooked. Because I am, and now I have to wait a month to see any more.
Enjoy, and Rest In Peace Edgar (Seasons 2-5, pictured above)
-berto
PS: Bonus material – www.bauercount.com – read about every one of Jack’s kills in all episodes. Looking at the Episode 6 data may spoil it for you.
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12.03.06
Posted in TV
at 11:38 pm
I’m not a TV guy, but Friday Night Lights has sucked me in. This action/drama show starring football-addicted small-town Texas has been stealing my Tuesday nights. Since it’s filmed right here in Austin, I have taken extra interest in this rapidly-degrading series.
The pilot of Friday Night Lights was incredible and had me within minutes. It was edgy, had lots of football action, and a good storyline. However, it was also predictable right from the start.
Obviously, this show is about high school kids, so it’s going to have every stereotype possible. The story focuses on two quarterbacks – the good one, and the backup. It didn’t take a whole lot of brains realize that this #1 QB was going to get his head blown off somewhere, and soon.
And so began the stereotypes and predictability, and they haven’t stopped since. So let’s quickly go through this show in all of its lameness:
The show stars all the stereotypes:
- Good looking QB being recruited by Notre Dame (of course it has to be Notre Dame… anything else would force the writers to actually open the sports page to find a team that isn’t eternally overrated)… who obviously dates the cutest cheerleader
- Thug black guy RB
New coach who is from out of town (and of course has a cute daughter and large-breasted MILF of a wife)- Young backup QB who is timid but will gain his wings
- Alcoholic, undersized bad-boy fullback in all his 180lbs of fury
- A few string-pulling sleazy rich guys
- A bunch of other hot girls splattered throughout
- Not a single offensive or defensive lineman. Who would expect Hollywood to know what those are?
And the story…
- Star QB gets paralyzed, backup QB comes in and wins the game despite being cluelessly lost.
- Team begins unraveling and loses a game. Idiot hillbillies (which, of course, is all that exists in Texas, right Hollywood?) start threatening the coach that he better start winning OR ELSE! (this latter part is actually realistic)
- Sleazebag string-puller brings in another QB, who of course is yet another thug black guy. Obviously it’s not possible to have a nice black dude on a TV show in Texas… that kind of thing just doesn’t exist, does it? *rolls eyes*
- The fullback, whose best friends with the former QB, has not visited him one time in the hospital as he recovers from a broken neck. He is too busy drinking at all hours of the day, just like every chum I knew in high school. Oh, and to top things off, he starts banging his best friend’s girlfriend. Yeah….
- New thug QB is talented but a total asshole, so he gets kicked off the team. Didn’t see that one coming.
- Throw in a half-dozen other worthless and meaningless sub-plots that have nothing to do with football
(show is now deteriorating rapidly)
- Backup QB solidifies his spot, starts winning, and is about to start boning the coach’s daughter for good measure.
- Thug RB had a bad day, so what do all black guys do after a bad day? You guessed it! They start using drugs… this one goes on steroids. Am I laying it on thick enough yet?
So not only is this shit getting awfully lame, but at this point, they’re no longer showing any football! All the good parts of the show are gone, and have been replaced by the OC season 2.
At around #7, I begin hearing complaints from my good friend Lon, who was also suckered in by the pilot. This is where Lon boldly predicted,
only a matter of time until they introduce the homo
–Lon, football addict
And you know what? Lon is right. In fact, he’s so right that I’m not only willing to bet nearly any sum of money that this show will introduce a gay guy into the drama, I will predict who it’s going to be:
This guy. The gay guy will be the backup QB’s best friend, who has always been at his side and never has a girl. He’s also been frustrated with his best friend becoming “the man” as QB of the team, but is not on the varsity squad.
And at this point, you will all owe me your bets.
But we’ll just keep on watching, because after all, it’s not action, it’s drama – shitty drama at that — and I’m freakin hooked.
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Early this morning, I participated in an event I never would have imagined myself taking part in: I went on strike with a labor union.
The funniest thing about this strike is what a social event it seems to be for the writers. Everyone I talked to was in optimistic spirits, and was very friendly to Sarah and myself. After all, being out of work for many months at a time is nothing new to a writer. Among those that I met were
lon said,
11.28.07 at 7:38 am
An internet television network! Down with the terrestrial television networks! It is the only next logical step. Newspapers are sinking because of the internet, why not the networks? They put out nothing but crap these days anyway.
John Handcock said,
11.28.07 at 10:19 am
Everyone is a pawn in the system except the CEOs, so I don’t think it’s a matter of branching out and creating a writer studio. Then the actors would create an actor studio and the producers a producer studio, and television/movies would swirl further down the toilet.
If the 2.5% you mentioned is what has been the working pay-paradigm for television writers, I cannot understand how that same figure does not directly translate to “new media.” Even if the money in new media is less than that of old media, it’s still the same slice size of simply a smaller pie.
I think the way that things work now is the way they have to work, but it might take a protracted strike for these uber-wealthy studio executives to realize that Jim Morrison was right: They’ve got the guns, but we’ve got the numbers.
There’s no profit to be had in running a studio without the creative engine of writers. A new slate of reality programming might be headed our way, but I imagine while some will catch, the majority will pass by in utter failure. Writers might seem like creepy crybabies, but it takes creepy crybabies who’ve been shit on their whole lives and who were forced to develop a keen wit and wild imagination in order to overcome the bleak reality of their shituation in order to develop the bittersweet creativity necessary to create worlds and people and situations that go beyond the limits of your common yokel’s imagination.
All it takes is five minutes of YouTubing to see just why the deep pockets of major corporations are necessary to create a full season of quality programming. For ever “I like turtles” gem you find, there are literally 10,000 videos of disturbingly low-quality production and creativity. A full season of a major production like a show like Friday Night Lights, 22 episodes at 43 minutes per episode, is something like, if my multiplication is correct, and it’s probably not (I’m a writer), 946 minutes of production. “I like turtles” was 30 seconds.
So, sadly, the current system of deep-pocketed megacorps is a necessary evil.
But I agree: more competition is more than necessary.
Sarah said,
11.28.07 at 1:28 pm
Even an anti-union libertarian seems to get it. Why can’t the studios?
Thanks for supporting us on the picket line. When we win our fight, I’ll use my four cents to buy you a piece of bubblegum.