12.03.06

TV Review: Friday Night Lights

Posted in TV at 11:38 pm

I’m not a TV guy, but Friday Night Lights has sucked me in. This action/drama show starring football-addicted small-town Texas has been stealing my Tuesday nights. Since it’s filmed right here in Austin, I have taken extra interest in this rapidly-degrading series.

The pilot of Friday Night Lights was incredible and had me within minutes. It was edgy, had lots of football action, and a good storyline. However, it was also predictable right from the start.

Obviously, this show is about high school kids, so it’s going to have every stereotype possible. The story focuses on two quarterbacks – the good one, and the backup. It didn’t take a whole lot of brains realize that this #1 QB was going to get his head blown off somewhere, and soon.

And so began the stereotypes and predictability, and they haven’t stopped since. So let’s quickly go through this show in all of its lameness:

The show stars all the stereotypes:

1. Good looking QB being recruited by Notre Dame (of course it has to be Notre Dame… anything else would force the writers to actually open the sports page to find a team that isn’t eternally overrated)… who obviously dates the cutest cheerleader
2. Thug black guy RB
3. New coach who is from out of town (and of course has a cute daughter and large-breasted MILF of a wife)
4. Young backup QB who is timid but will gain his wings
5. Alcoholic, undersized bad-boy fullback in all his 180lbs of fury
6. A few string-pulling sleazy rich guys
7. A bunch of other hot girls splattered throughout
8. Not a single offensive or defensive lineman. Who would expect Hollywood to know what those are?

And the story…

1. Star QB gets paralyzed, backup QB comes in and wins the game despite being cluelessly lost.
2. Team begins unraveling and loses a game. Idiot hillbillies (which, of course, is all that exists in Texas, right Hollywood?) start threatening the coach that he better start winning OR ELSE! (this latter part is actually realistic)
3. Sleazebag string-puller brings in another QB, who of course is yet another thug black guy. Obviously it’s not possible to have a nice black dude on a TV show in Texas… that kind of thing just doesn’t exist, does it? *rolls eyes*
4. The fullback, whose best friends with the former QB, has not visited him one time in the hospital as he recovers from a broken neck. He is too busy drinking at all hours of the day, just like every chum I knew in high school. Oh, and to top things off, he starts banging his best friend’s girlfriend. Yeah….
5. New thug QB is talented but a total asshole, so he gets kicked off the team. Didn’t see that one coming.
6. Throw in a half-dozen other worthless and meaningless sub-plots that have nothing to do with football (show is now deteriorating rapidly)
7. Backup QB solidifies his spot, starts winning, and is about to start boning the coach’s daughter for good measure.
8. Thug RB had a bad day, so what do all black guys do after a bad day? You guessed it! They start using drugs… this one goes on steroids. Am I laying it on thick enough yet?

So not only is this shit getting awfully lame, but at this point, they’re no longer showing any football! All the good parts of the show are gone, and have been replaced by the OC season 2.

At around #7, I begin hearing complaints from my good friend Lon, who was also suckered in by the pilot. This is where Lon boldly predicted,

only a matter of time until they introduce the homo
–Lon, football addict

And you know what? Lon is right. In fact, he’s so right that I’m not only willing to bet nearly any sum of money that this show will introduce a gay guy into the drama, I will predict who it’s going to be:

This guy. The gay guy will be the backup QB’s best friend, who has always been at his side and never has a girl. He’s also been frustrated with his best friend becoming “the man” as QB of the team, but is not on the varsity squad.

And at this point, you will all owe me your bets.

But we’ll just keep on watching, because after all, it’s not action, it’s drama – shitty drama at that — and I’m freakin hooked.

Related posts:

1. Early Season Review: 24, Episodes 1-4 (NO SPOILERS)
2. Parenthood Review (TV)
3. Book Review: The Broker, by John Grisham

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