Guest Writer Galante: The OODD Antipodean

    While I am not a spiritual person, I sometimes believe in a universal system of karma. After all, when you win, there has to be at least one loser. And when you win big, there has to be a big loser.

    So after last weekend’s OODD (Ohio Obliteration Domination Day), it only made sense that there was someone out there on the receiving end of all the punishment that Ohio handed out.

    That somebody’s name is Galante. He is a Vanderbilt alum who roots for LSU when he wants to cheer for a real team. A Chicago Bears fan who never lived in Chicago (or even in the Midwest). And one lousy defensive flag football player. This is what he sent after getting his hat handed to him all weekend long. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Galante, the OODD Antipodean, the man who got what he deserved:

Ok so that was perhaps one of the worst football weekends of my life. Anybody that thinks their weekend was even remotely as bad, read the below and then try to talk to me. No, I’m not bitter or anything… (long email to follow – but I bet you will laugh thinking of me that pissed off)

Let’s start off Saturday. LSU (my second team behind Vandy) keeps letting Kentucky back into the game, can’t put them away, the refs sucked [Kentucky’s] ass for lack of a better phrase, and the deserved number 1 team in the nation goes down. And don’t anybody give me some crap about how Ohio State is the true number 1 in the land (South Florida is more deserving then they are). The Big Ten is nowhere near the level of the SEC! Why do you think LSU only dropped to number 5?

Then, Vanderbilt has Georgia on the ropes at home for homecoming (yeah, one of these days our athletic leaders will learn to schedule a frickin winnable homecoming game), 17-17, driving late in the 4th quarter. Literally (no joke), right as I call my Vandy alum brother to see if he is watching the game on ESPN2, Vandy runs to the Georgia 7 yd line and fumbles the football with 2 min to go. The end result, surprise surprise, Vandy lets Georgia go right down the field and kick a chip shot FG as time expires to win. Georgia in their classy ways then proceeded to celebrate on the Vandy star and move up in the Top 25 of all things. I’da taken off my mascot helmet and bitch slapped some of those UGA players with it. Needless to say, I hung up the phone on my brother as soon as we fumbled. Besides, he hadn’t answered yet anyway.

Then, that’s right, not done yet, now we go to Sunday, I’m sure Papa Bear George Halas was rolling over in his grave after watching Adrian Peterson basically sexually assault our defense. Yeah, we came back (or should I say Devin Hester did), only for him to kick us in the groin again on the ensuing kickoff return to setup a game winning FG. Somewhere, Courtney (the Viking ex-GF) is laughing at me… And how the hell did I end up in a bar a block from my home that happened to be infested with possibly ALL of the obnoxious Viking and Packer fans living in SoCal. I wish I had a taser at the time (to subdue myself first so I didn’t have to listen to those punks). Oh yeah, Green Bay won too (bite me Favre) and the Patriots took out the Cowboys. Great Sunday (if you’re bent over in a shower in prison!).

Then Sunday wasn’t over. I played a flag football doubleheader with a pulled quad that is nicely colored yellow and purple right now (at least they’re decent team colors) and a bum heel. My team got swept, and I of course got burned twice for TD’s by a lanky, gimpy dude because I couldn’t seem to grab a flag to save my life and because this white boy (yours truly that is) couldn’t jump to knock a ball out of an in stride 6 ft 6 slow white boy. Great weekend indeed… How was everyone else’s weekend?

    … thank you Galante! And to answer your final question… it was a lot better than yours! GO INDIANS, else my weekend might be worse than his!
Posted in , by Berto.

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