New Year’s Resolutions? The Gym’s Been Awfully Empty…

…especially on Monday, which is normally a busy night.

And thus ends the January-Gym-Jam that plagues the fitness faithful every year. Those of you in the New Year’s Resolution Ring have faded away. I look forward to seeing you return the week before spring break and whenever people really start hitting the beaches hardcore out here.

Rather than yell at you for being worthless sacks of scum, I’d like to do something constructive. Let’s have a contest!

Whoever posts the BEST excuse for breaking your New Years Resolution wins 28oz of M&Ms… paid for by the hard-working staff here at

So go ahead and post your pathetic sob stories in the comments, and be sure to include your e-mail address (it won’t get posted and I won’t sell you to spammers). The contest ends in one week on 2/15/07, which is conveniently on pay-day.


  1. What do you mean by “best”?

    I don’t know. Whatever I like best. Either the funniest, or the most humiliating, or the most pathetic excuse. The more detail the better

  2. Do I have to tell you what my resolution was?

    No, but it might help.

  3. Will you ship internationally?
  4. No. If you are foreign, I’ll PayPal you $5. If you don’t have PayPal, then tough luck. This offer excludes anyone from Iran, Syria, Iraq, North Korea, and France.

  5. 28oz?

    Yes. According to the Official M&M’s Site, they are available in these sizes: 1.69 oz., 3.14 oz., 5.3 oz., 9.4 oz., 14 oz., 21.3 oz., 52 oz. I will purchase and ship two 14oz bags.

  6. 2 bags? Can I choose my configuration if I win?

    Sure, as long they’re available in 14oz portions.

  7. What if there’s a heat wave next week?

    They have a thin candy shell!

  8. I don’t trust you. What’s the catch?

    None. The greatest thing about people who don’t trust me is how quickly they realize that I can be trusted due to my total apathy for all things malicious. In other words, I am too socially lazy to do anything bad that would lose your trust.

  9. Peanut M&M’s are the best!

    I agree

  10. Where’d you find that picture of a fat kid with a shovel? is still the coolest site out there for finding the weirdest crap on the net. No offense to fat kid with shovel.

Good luck everyone! 2/15/07 is your deadline… and don’t worry if I post another blog before then, it’ll still be in effect.

Posted in by Berto.

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