Last year’s humiliating Buckeye defeat against Florida left most Ohioans with months and months of painful deliberation regarding what went wrong during that game.
In a conversation with my friends Dan and Jordan, we came to the easy determination that the game was squandered because it was put on the shoulders of two Clevelanders, Troy Smith and Ted Ginn.
Clearly, being the Clevelanders that Troy and Teddy are, they could not cope with the weight of the big stage. Smith’s triumph of winning the Heisman Trophy was unquestionably far too much for any Clevelander to handle. Thus, he entered the game lost, overweight, and seemingly indifferent to the outcome.
Ginn, on the other hand, was knocked out of the game early after an amazing kickoff return when teammate Roy Hall tackled him in celebration. By the way, do you know where Roy Hall is from? You guessed it — Cleveland!
So in order to prevent the mistakes of last year, I have devised the Ohio State 2007 National Championship Cleveland Watch List.
The Ohio State depth chart1 is proudly riddled with Ohioans, but I am pleased to say that there are very few Cleveland-based starters on the list to play spoiler to our hopes and dreams. Among these starting Clevelanders are:
- Alex Boone, OLT2
- Brian Robiskie, WR
- Ray Small, PR/KR
- Dimitrios Makridis, LS (is Warren, OH really part of Cleveland though?)
Among the two-deep are:
- Josh Kerr, OLT
- Bryant Browning, ORT
- Robert Rose, DE
- Jamario O’Neal, SS
Clearly, less of our core nucleus is based of Clevelanders, a decision which I believe to be by design. Our biggest concern is obviously at the left tackle position, where we got burned all night long last year. We hope that Alex Boone has learned from it, and if not, Tressel must provide support because Boone’s backup, Josh Kerr, is also from the Mistake on the Lake.
While QB Todd Boeckman watches his blindside, he must spread the ball out, and must not rely on Robiskie or Small too much.
As fans, there is nothing we can do but keep an eye on the players on our Cleveland Watch List and pray that they don’t give the game away. Jim Tressel will have our lovable losers ready for action, but if they are not, expect a healthy dose of Beanie Wells to the right all night long.
Unfortunately, LSU has no Clevelanders.
On a Serious Note, inside sources have stated that this team is better prepared and more motivated than any other Ohio State team ever. Vernon Gholston (pictured right) has obviously not missed any workouts. I am expecting an extremely hard-hitting, rough game, and I expect OSU to beat LSU by two scores.
Ohio State 34, LSU 16
PS: Don’t believe my theories? Who led us to the 2002 Championship? You got it – a thug from Youngstown and a brainiac from Michigan! (the best defense ever didn’t hurt either)
1 This is the depth chart from Michigan. There are some minor changes, such as Antonio Henton moving into the second-string QB spot. Henton is not a Clevelander. 2 Boone also stunk up the joint in last year’s game, even though equal blame must go to the coaching staff for their lack of halftime adjustments in his area.
By Mike Roberto’s Blog » Results of the OSU 2007 National Championship Cleveland Watch List January 7, 2008 - 10:16 pm
[…] in HUMILIATIONS, Sports at 10:15 pm This is a follow-up to this […]